22.3.05 | Lost Loves
Her.
7:30 pm. Friday evening. Recently.
If you'd been lounging around the simply "delightful" Burnley bus station at that time, you might well have seen The Saturnyne lounging, too. It's what he does best.
Head bent. Hand resting philosophically on chin. One leg tucked under a chair, the other stretching langurously. Here is The Saturnyne deep in thought.
A shadow moves across the periphery of his vision, disturbing ever so slightly his mournful reverie. A casual glance up. An imperceptible start.
(The Saturnyne is on occasion, a master at hiding his feelings. When the occasion demands).
It's Her. She's looking a few years older. But surely it can only be Her. She still has that dancers grace. He looks cautiously. The sideways glance. Half trying to catch her eye, to perhaps gain some glimpse of recognition in her own eyes. She never meets his gaze. Perhaps never even looks in his direction. Perhaps it's not Her... for surely she would remember him. The Saturnyne is not an easy person to forget, once met. Neither does he forget those he's met also. It is both a curse and a blessing.
Or perhaps she recognizes him all too well and is ignoring him.
Either way, formalities and oaths must be kept. If conversation is to be made, it must come from her and not him. When someone has not wished to speak to you for years, their silence must be respected. It would not be... polite.
The bus arrives and the journey home is made. The Saturnyne sits in unbearable discomfort, almost within touching distance of a person he once loved enormously. No words are spoken. She gets off at the right stop. Yes, this must surely be Her.
The Saturnyne does not bow his head. He is still as stone. No emotion passes over his features.
No words are spoken. He thought he was over her. He was wrong. Even after all these years, the echoes reverberate down from the past and fall upon him like Greek Furies.
When he is quite alone, he sits on his bed awhile, eyes resting on a nothing of wall. And remembers all that was lost and can never be regained.
No words are spoken.
17 comments :.
19.3.05 | The First Day Of Spring
I always know the first day of Spring. And it knows me. This must be the fairest day of the year. Life calls me.
So today, i've been doing things. Taking new flower photos with my (non-digital) camera. Seeing old friends. Drinking coffee and chilling out in my Fave cafe, The Red Triangle. And now, i'm writing in a state of near-tranquility. Drinking a good red. Listening to Nico singing 'These Days' from her verr beautiful 'Chelsea Girl' album. Thinking of a poem by e.e. cummings that perfectly sums up a new bright day. Why, i think i'll quote both the singer and the poet for you! Generosity prevails! (Somehow, they both match my mood today).
The Singer
I've been out walking
I don't do too much talking
These days, these days.
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
And all the times I had the chance to.
I've stopped my rambling,
I don't do too much gambling
These days, these days.
These days I seem to think about
How all the changes came about my ways
And I wonder if I'll see another highway.
I had a lover,
I don't think I'll risk another
These days, these days.
And if I seem to be afraid
To live the life that I have made in song
It's just that I've been losing so long.
La la la la la, la la.
I've stopped my dreaming,
I won't do too much scheming
These days, these days.
These days I sit on corner stones
And count the time in quarter tones to ten.
Please don't confront me with my failures,
I had not forgotten them.
The Poet
i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
And that's all.
love love love,
S.x
8 comments :.
Marlene hollered thusly:
Sometimes I wish I knew winter, to be able to enjoy spring ...
Carl Berry hollered thusly:
Bah! Spring and summer are over rated I want winter back, we haven't had nearly enough snow yet (or any in my case, damn Christmas in the south).
In the meantime there's always Kitten Huffing
The Saturnyne hollered thusly:
It must be strange that way, in Brazil, methinks, but i also envy you, your warm climate, too.
Kitten huffing! That's the most awesome thing i've ever seen! (today)
I laughed so hard i had to murder a passerby fortheir vital organs to replace my own which had unfortunately ruptured with mirth!
S.
But damn! i was thinking of inventing my own encyclopedia along such lines and now i find someone else already has! i may have to rethink. Bollocks!
The Saturnyne hollered thusly:
PS! i think i shall have to post about this kitten huffing officially! It's too good to merely reside in the comments.
S.
minger hollered thusly:
yeah sure. tomorrow is the first day of spring so... its snowing and snowing and snowing...
but maybe its good because i dont have a spring-jacket ;)
The Saturnyne hollered thusly:
Hey! M.M.! I thought you'd been kidnapped by aliens! You'd been gone soooo long.
Hiiii.
S.x
3rd daughter hollered thusly:
gorgeous words of spring - my favourite time of the year. autumn is slowly creeping in here in oz.
kitten huffing looks like fun :)
my sun sets to rise again hollered thusly:
ee cummings rawks so hard.
he doesn't even obey the laws of capitals.
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| "MirrorMask" Post (Otherwise Known As "I Heart Neil and Dave!"
Check this pic out:
Doesn't mean much beyond looking a bit cool and interesting, does it?
Except!
This is one of the first promotion pics for possibly the coolest and most original looking movie in a very long time.
Oops, wait a mo. I meant: In a very long time!!!! (Gotta have my !!!'s)
but what's of especial significance to an avid Sandman fan like me, is the scrumptious thought that it's been written by Neil Gaiman, and directed by his uber-genius long-term accomplice in crime, the all round artist extraordinaire, Dave McKean and like, made/produced/whatevered, by Jim Hensons Company (And who could forget their previous two cult movie fantasies, The Dark Crystal and the, er, Other One) What? You thought i was talking about 'Muppets, Treasure Island' or whatever it was called?
Subnote: While searching for that "Other One", i found This Site which i thought was a bit unique and awesome and just had to bring to your attention. I just hadda!
So it's a movie. Yum! "But what's it about?" i hear you ask, from your distant and charming lands...
So here's a quick synopsis that i found from the Official Movie Site which incidentally has nice trailers and other... stuff.
"MirrorMask is the story of Helena, a fifteen-year-old girl working for her family circus, who wishes -quite ironically- that she could run away from the circus and join real life. But such is not to be the case, as she finds herself on a strange journey into the Dark Lands, a fantastic landscape filled with giants, Monkeybirds and dangerous sphinxes. Helena searches for the Mirrormask, an object of enormous power that is her only hope of escaping the Dark Lands, waking the Queen of Light and returning home."
So it's a kind of Wizard of Oz, then? Oyess, my little fleshlings, but with Neil and Dave at the wheel, you just know it's gonna be a whole lot more than that. And if you don't know, then yer obviously haven't read Gaimans Sandman epic (Available from all ye good parchment and scroll shops. What? You still here? Go and get hold of them, you mad fool, and bow before His Eminence, the King of Dreams, Prince of Stories etc. and then come back having read them and with newly acquired wisdoms. Oh, and bring wine with you? Ta!)
Back? Good. So now you're slightly more cultured. Have a gander at some pretty stills from the film and go "Oooh" ever so slightly.
Right. That's that post outta the way. Next up, the return of pretty piccies! And now i'm off to bed. It calls me, y'know.
Sooo tireddd.... ZzZzZz
S.
6 comments :.
Jessie hollered thusly:
Looks awesome!
Ginger Doll hollered thusly:
Oh no!!! You can't just say sounds kinda crappy when it's Neil & Dave!!! I'm with S here - the two greatest, most complimentary artists every thrown together by the vagrancies of fate. Thank you, dear S, for showing me a little glimpse of future bliss.
Janey/xx
Ginger Doll hollered thusly:
AND ANYWAY!!! Besides cool and interesting, what about imaginative and genius beyond belief???!
I could rant forever on this one (as the photo links on my site show, I adore Dave McKean).
Ok, I'll go gibber and drool in private now.
ps. If Neil ever gets sick of Tori as his redheaded muse, I'm always available for commissions...
The Saturnyne hollered thusly:
Aye! The more i look at Dave's Work, the more i love it.
Didja see the adverts he did for Social Work? About six in all. Appeared in all the national press. Actually brought tears to my eyes, they did. Can't think of any advert that's EVER done that to me before.
S.x
Lizzy hollered thusly:
Yo buddeh. Gaiman/McKean squeal posts are always a joy to grin at. *smiles tiredly* Would comment on your latest post if my neurones were being agreable enough to comprehend them in their current state of inactivity, but anyway... Can't wait for MirrorMask.. Hope it comes to Singapore, at least. *grumbles* Censorship here is rubbish.
Onanymous hollered thusly:
Ok. I officially can't wait.
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12.3.05 | Limbo! I'm in limbo!
For some reason, i'm unable to post comments on other peeps blogs.
I keep getting "Blog Not Found" type messages as soon as i do! Egad! The rotters!
This makes me doubt my own reality! (Not difficult to do)
And if you haven't yet seen my post below (About being an Evil Genius), please comment on that one instead. It's much more fun than this small one, and goes further to reinforcing my awesomeness, which shall surely receive Royal Seals of Approval and other sorts of official recognition any time now. Probably even get its own trademark, too...
love,
S.
4 comments :.
b hollered thusly:
yeah, i guess it was a prob with blogger, cos i was getting the same message when i went to other blogs and some people were emailing me that they couldn't comment on my blog. but, apparently it is fixed, as i am commenting now!
no Royal Seal of Approval for you- it's not good enough! they'll have to make something just for you, one of a kind. :)
Aquila hollered thusly:
Had the same problem with blogger this week. Think they were changing settings to the commentary system. All I had to do was to republish my blog - seems everything is working fine now.
Starbuck hollered thusly:
Christ, yeah, I've had all sorts of problems, especially with photos1.blogger.com - I blame the profile avatars for grinding the Comments to a halt whilst hotlinking images from photos1. Or something.
Oh, and if having trouble after changing yer template, try republishing just the index first to get things going.
And if the Blogger GUI is not working properly in your browser, close the browser down & open another one. Perhaps.
Ginger Doll hollered thusly:
Oooh! It actaully loaded for me!
Sending you a big hug
You absent friend/xxx
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7.3.05 | How to Be An Evil Genius (On The Cheap)(kind of)
Today, The Saturnyne was going to tell yer all the ins and outs of how to start an adventurous career of Evil Geniusness.
He was gonna tell ya how to do those "Muhahahahaha!" laughs and make them last forever, using indian yogic breathing techniques. (Complete lie)
He was gonna tell you about posture, and how to stand there imperiously with hands on hips, not looking at all "odd", with a white pet cat, named "Mr Flay" wreathed around yer shoulders. And how to "retire" those henchmen who fall around laughing when you do this. Friends have since pointed out that it makes me look "like a raging queen". Tchah! Whadda they know? I shall be "retiring" them too, forthwith! See if i don't! Muhahahaha!
Yes, the Saturnyne was gonna explain how to get a "good" personal assistant called Igor (Evil Genius Mail Order. or at http://www.buy-igor.com and how to judiciously use the leccie cattle prod on him when he's not looking surly or miserable enough. Although to be honest, my latest model is trying even my patience. He just doesn't grumble enough when i tell him to go for more fresh brains at the local Accident and Emergency dept. Still, on the plus side, the pained look on his face at mealtimes is a joy to behold when i feed him his gruel and see him frantically trying to spear the nutritious bits before they wriggle away.
So. And finally, The Saturnyne was gonna detail how to attract the attention of The Authorities, so that they send in their best secret agents to thwart your malevolent machinations. Such agenta are invariably inept at not getting caught, even by Igor, so it's always nice to be able to explain to them how one intends to evolve super-intelligent sparrows and whatnot. Before cruelly (yet fairly and sportingly) putting said agents to death with the new laser-firing goldfish... or man-eating sparrows... i haven't decided yet.
And then we saw this:
Hypnodisk!
And suddenly everything seemed so much simpler...
Gorgeous and awesome, isn't it?!?! Here's a view of the other side.
Whaddya know, it's just as awesome on this side!
Want! Now! Donations of large sums of money for purchase will be happilly accepted!
Imagine what fun one can have with door to door salespesons of all persuasions.
"Come in" i'll say. Cheerily. "Have a drink. Oh, don't mind the spinny thing, it's just to mezmorize you and put you under my powers of evil. Muhahahahaaaa!"
But that's not all! We also saw this:
Ballistae 1
And the other side...
Ballistae 2 (the other side)
Oooh! How much fun can a guy have with the neighbours? Especially when they're coming home at 3.a.m in the morning and shouting and singing like the chavscum white trash they undoubtedly are. How much fun?!?! How much! And they probably have children! Well someone does in this area, my god, the numbers of teenage vandals. surely an excuse for enforced contraception? Or am i thinking vivisection? Anyway, the point is: More fun! The Saturnyne Strikes Back. Muhahahaha!
And then... This!
Guillotine! For the kitchen!
Hey! Isn't that a pic of its "other side" below? Oyesss.
Guillotine 2
It'll be perfect for the kitchen! And how! All those uppity carrots will live in a state of nervousness forevermore. They shall fear me! Fear! Plus: how cool will Igor look as he solemnly, yet with an air of sulkiness (A contractual obligation amongst henchmen) slices the veg for meals. Occasionally cursing as he loses another finger in the salad bowl... wow, i sooo gotta make that another contractual obligation...
The really cool thing is that all these items can actually be bought from This Site.
So i say: Treat the Evil Genius in your life. But first, treat me. Especially as i know where you live. All of you.
Oh, and they even make siege engines! Awesome! I'll be able to lay low entire bunches of kids while they blithely vandalize stuff.
S.x
PS: Thanks to the more-than-Copacetic Tam for showing me how title tags work. Also for telling me about wikipedia, so i can look up words like "copacetic" with impugnity. Also words like impugnity. If i want. Ah love yew, Tam! More than bees! But not as much as exclamation marks!
PPS: Title tags = those little word balloons that pop up when you hover yer mouse icon over pictures and links an' stuff. Go try it on my pics up there. *points upwards*
7 comments :.
my sun sets to rise again hollered thusly:
I just read the title tag for the guillotine as coming with a supply of bondages..
I need to get out more...
Cool link, nowt to say we evil geniuses can't accessorise.
The Saturnyne hollered thusly:
Ah, Mr Teufel, the cunning thing about all them henchmen missing, is that they're... deliberately missing. Otherwise we evil geniuses would have no-one new to explain our dastardly plans to.
It can be lonely being an evil genius, y'know.
As for money, i reckon a gazillion trillion would do for starters.
=]
S.
"Bondages"! Hrr hrr!
b hollered thusly:
loved the tag "shiny thing + spinny thing = desirability"!!
*chuckle*
Starbuck hollered thusly:
Yay, once again you've made my life more interesting. I'll be putting this little lot on the forthcoming wedding giftlist...
(must ask Tam about the title tag thang. I used to be able to do it, then forgot, and having tried to quickly Google up some suggestions they never seem to work for me)
lynda brendish hollered thusly:
I learnt about title tags from Tam too! (via a link she posted).. I did know about how to do it in pictures already, though.
anyway, the way I do it is..
for pics - < img src="pic file" alt="witty comment here" >
for linky loos < a href="awesome link" title="profound comment here" >link< /a>
Starbuck hollered thusly:
Thanks, me (he says sounding a little split). I lost my tagging abilities some time back and the code has somehow eluded me (despite the wealth of knowledge that is Google & Sample Source)...
The Saturnyne hollered thusly:
Heh! That Tam's a bit useful, isn't she?
Gotta heart her.
'tis an awesome blog she has, too. Someone please remind me when next years bloggies are due, so i can vote for her?
S.
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6.3.05 | Oops!
So much for my super-swift and awesome next post... i've bin a wee bit busy...
I'll be right back!
Tomorrow probably. Unless i happen to be verr verr drunk/hung over.
Ah, sweet booze!
Sloe Gin! (A rarity!)
Failing that, gin or vodka mixed with, er, stuff.
Or some expensive and dry red vin. Or some cheap and sweet red vin.
Although, i must confess... my days of heavy imbibing are behind me. So nowadays, it's one glass and i'm anybody's! Yaay!
So do ya want me, baby? Hh? Do ya? Do ya? Cool!- So just sign this form (Ignoring the bit about losing yer immortal soul; that's just for effect)... here... and here and i'm all yours...
Heheh!
S.x
2 comments :.
my sun sets to rise again hollered thusly:
Is this a drunk post?
I always make them and delete the next day.
The Saturnyne hollered thusly:
What? Delete my own foolishness? now where would the fun be in that?
It's entirely possible that i was excitedly pre-drunk as i wrote this post... now there's mania for you.
S.x
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so beautiful. i hope you can see or talk to her again... i only daydream about randomly crossing paths with my lost love one day.
i really feel the joy and pain with you on this.../
*s*
Well, dearest Stella, it's been over seven years since i last saw her.
She made her choice. And i respect that. I regret it, for i did count her amongst my closest friends... but y'know... people leave town... they begin different lives... one has to move on as best one can.
She may forget me, but i shall not her, and that must be enough.
S.x
beautiful words of love. even better than the beautiful words of spring. i think i might cry.
whenever i go back to my hometown, i am always looking out for my greatest love. ideally, i would see him, but he would not see me. he would be happy and i would know that everything is ok. i realize that when you share 7 years of your life with someone, that love may seem forgotten, however, you can so quickly be reminded that it is not. it is merely in a dormant state. it will never die.
your story is a beautiful one that i strongly identify with. thank you for sharing it.
Oh, yes. This is a very familiar pain. I wish I could buy you a drink or something.
:-/
Ah, I want to give you a big hug as well.
[ In a thoroughly manly way, of course! ;-) ]
That's amazing. I know those feelings and you described them so perfectly. Great writing and I admire your decision to stay quiet. I don't know if I could have..
aww, thanks guys!
Yr comments were muchness of appreciatied.
And i see i'm not the only one having interesting moments with lost loves/ acquaintances.
Must be the weather, as i was saying to Janey on her blog...
Ah, humans... we're a daft old race, aren't we? So impatient. So keen for perfection. Personally, i like the imperfections...
S.x
Beautiful indeed.
This is a gorgeous post.
Ho! Two new commentees in one day! Wonders will never cease!
Great blog you got there, Iridescent. Great handle, too. =]
I'll be delighted if you drop by my place again.
And PPQ! you're my very first anonymous commentee! I shall dedicate my very next post to you. Whatever it's about...
Quick hello, to Mr Teufel. It's nice to see someone sharing so many thoughts from the other side of the world. I find myself in agreement with so many of them.
Heh! Betwween you, and the ladies, Iridescent and the 3rd Daughter, i can see i'm gonna be a little busy in the near future adding links to my blog... (now if only i can get these icons working instead of words... I'm trying to alter a few blog things, y'see...)
(SYMBOLS! thass what i want! Moving Gifs! Flash! Other stuff!)
I doff my hat to you all, incidentally... inbetween mutterings...
S.x
Thanks for the compliments. -!
You wanted to know where I 'found you'- it was from a comment you made on someone's blog..It was bugging me to not remember which one so I've Searched to figure out which.
And now it's driving me crazy because I can't find it! I've looked everywhere though, and no idea. Bugger. Can't wait for your next post :)
Haw! you can't wait for it! I've been trying to post the effing pictures for it for the past zillion hours (5) But it seems "hello" doesn't like me today! The bastard!
Ha!
S.x
...It's a crap post anyway...
S.
*tips a glass of bourbon*
To lost loves!
Cheers!
Cheers back atcha A.T.!!
S.
That's some fine stuff, Santurnyne one.
You bring the sharp, half-forgotten taste of a very personal sorrow with an intensity momentarily overwhelming.
julzine
Thanks Julzine. THat's much appreciated. I hoped it might strike a chord within people, and to some extent it seems i've succeeded.
Personally, though, i think it could be better. not enough rhythm in the language...
Still... it's only a blog and not a novel
=]
S.
PS: How'd you find your way here? I'm always inquisitive about such things... it seems i'm fairly easy to google with the right words... which is kind of amusing.
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