22.3.05 | Lost Loves
7:30 pm. Friday evening. Recently.
If you'd been lounging around the simply "delightful" Burnley bus station at that time, you might well have seen The Saturnyne lounging, too. It's what he does best.
Head bent. Hand resting philosophically on chin. One leg tucked under a chair, the other stretching langurously. Here is The Saturnyne deep in thought.
A shadow moves across the periphery of his vision, disturbing ever so slightly his mournful reverie. A casual glance up. An imperceptible start.
(The Saturnyne is on occasion, a master at hiding his feelings. When the occasion demands).
It's Her. She's looking a few years older. But surely it can only be Her. She still has that dancers grace. He looks cautiously. The sideways glance. Half trying to catch her eye, to perhaps gain some glimpse of recognition in her own eyes. She never meets his gaze. Perhaps never even looks in his direction. Perhaps it's not Her... for surely she would remember him. The Saturnyne is not an easy person to forget, once met. Neither does he forget those he's met also. It is both a curse and a blessing.
Or perhaps she recognizes him all too well and is ignoring him.
Either way, formalities and oaths must be kept. If conversation is to be made, it must come from her and not him. When someone has not wished to speak to you for years, their silence must be respected. It would not be... polite.
The bus arrives and the journey home is made. The Saturnyne sits in unbearable discomfort, almost within touching distance of a person he once loved enormously. No words are spoken. She gets off at the right stop. Yes, this must surely be Her.
The Saturnyne does not bow his head. He is still as stone. No emotion passes over his features.
No words are spoken. He thought he was over her. He was wrong. Even after all these years, the echoes reverberate down from the past and fall upon him like Greek Furies.
When he is quite alone, he sits on his bed awhile, eyes resting on a nothing of wall. And remembers all that was lost and can never be regained.
No words are spoken.