27.4.05 | Time For Flowers



Nothing to say today. So I offer you some nice flowers instead. Photographed by my very own hand, no less. Using real, old fashioned film, too! Click the image 'n' see the grain!

Carnations aren't my fave flowers by any stretch. but they DO make interesting shapes in black and white. Or tinted a little.


Carnation in Blue


Carnation In Not-blue

And thass all for today. I may throw another flower at ya later this week. All romantic, like. Or i may not. It depends if you've all been very good boys and girls or not. If you've been bad, then it's garrottings all round, i'm afraid. Or a withholding of cakey-things. Cruel i know, but i'm only doing it because i loooove you.

S.x

24 comments :.

  1:42 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

And i'd just like to point out here, that repairing these images for use took me weeeeeeks! The film was of a poor standard, alas.

So you'd better appreciate them. Yes!-Because i know where you live...

S.x


  2:58 am :. Blogger B hollered thusly:

those are absolutely beautiful images!! love the colors- and i'm not just saying that because you have threatened me. really!
more soon, please!!


  3:49 am :. Blogger Star hollered thusly:

You know where I live?! You're spying on me aren't you?! Who are you working for? The squirrels, isn't it?.. Hm...

And of course the pictures looked lovely. Especially loved the first one! I'm sure you know just how to make them look so we'll like them.. part of your spy training camp I'm sure..


  9:22 am :. Blogger Jessie hollered thusly:

Lovely work. I wonder what my favourite flower is. I know which tree I like, but I'm not sure about flowers. Clearly I don't get sent nearly enough.. ;)


  12:02 pm :. Blogger Herge Smith hollered thusly:

can you still buy... what did you call it again?...film?

weird.

nice pics btw.


  3:24 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

I very much like the pics.
But I'm afraid I've been bad, very bad.
It's ok though, cause when I'm good, I'm very good...but when I'm bad...I'm better! lol


  4:42 pm :. Blogger Michael Moore hollered thusly:

and you are jealous of my work? Fuck... why? That is awesome :-D


  6:23 pm :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

i've always felt bad for the carnations species, (b/c no one loves them as much anymore) but you, you brought them back to full life !! :)

that being said i'm a lilies-type girl


  11:04 pm :. Blogger Carl hollered thusly:

Bah! Flowers. Look at them, sitting there, filling the air with their pollen.

As spokesperson (and only current member) of the H.F.S.F.C.O.R. (Hay Fever Suffers For Concreting Over the Rainforests) I say, erm, I say, um...




Well I don't know what I say but you can bet it'd be pretty damn anti-flower, the bastards.


  12:54 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Gawd! i feel death-warmed-up today! Utterly knackered, i am.

Yet heroically, i shall reply to all!

Thanks B... i dedicate these flowers to you.

Yes, Iri. I know where you live, and am spying on you with Squirrel-cam and also Pigeon-cam even as i type! And can i say that "Mauve" is sooo not your colour! =)

Jessie, your favourite flower is... Foxglove. Or it will be when i dedicate the next piccie to you. So thass settled.

Cheers Herge! Film is still cool.

Broomhilda: My imagination can only guess inadequately at what kind of "badness" you get up to!

Especial thanks, Michael. Coming from an artist like yerself, that really is appreciated.

Stella: Lilies? I think i have some of them somewhere... If i can find 'em i'll do some just for you! 'Cause i love yer so much!

CArl, you shall always be one of my favourite people in Summer A: Because it allows me to feel superior for a rare while. And B: Watching you and Russ suffer is always good for a laugh. Oyes!

Cruel, me? =}

S.


  2:07 am :. Blogger Jessie hollered thusly:

Foxglove - okay!

Let no one say I am hard to please.


  10:33 am :. Blogger The Prisoner hollered thusly:

You take photographs well good sir.
i like using film where u can see the grain, you should see the rushes for me 18mm short, grainy as fuck i tell thee! blame my incompetent camera op, but they look damn good!


  6:41 pm :. Blogger my sun sets to rise again hollered thusly:

I was once given flowers (which did not please me as the give should have known) but they had big orange daisies in the bunch.
When my lamp light would hit them it was truly beautiful.

But your carnations are lovely.
And there will be no withholding of cake type goodness. My masters will be severely displeased..


  9:35 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

Darling Saturnyne,

You've been to my bloggie, you know what I get up to, no need for imaginings.

I hope you feel better soon, shall I bring you some tea and soup. Perhaps tuck you in and read you a story?


  10:26 pm :. Blogger Woman at the well hollered thusly:

Look, what Stella said was absolutely right. It was like a revival of a kind of flowers that have been forgotten for long. But on second thought what else could we expect from you other than unusual things?
I liked them, thanks. I even needed it.


  4:26 am :. Blogger Star hollered thusly:

Lol, I Knew it! Mauve.. So you've heard about the mauve, hehe :)
I hope you get better!!!
*hugs* and don't forget to get lots of rest!


  6:12 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

I have Carnations, too!

I withhold cake-type-goodness! Just to see what happens...

What kind of soup? What kind of story? It'd better be clean and full of Christian wholesomeness! My Pumpkin might be listening!

Grainy flm rules! Unless it's corny grain... or oaty grain... or wheaty grain... or...

THanks dear W.a.t.W! I'm glad you liked.

And everyone knows about the MAUVE! Everyone!!! There's photos, too!


  2:03 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

Chicken soup, a very soothing get well story, full of naughty things.
Don't worry, I also have a story about a man and his punkin.
Oh! and bringing some choccie too.


  2:48 pm :. Blogger Darkchild hollered thusly:

Oops...we'd better appreciate the pics then huh ;)
(I really like the b&w photo)

Don't want you to blow up my house or something...

Hehehe *sends him an e-card that says; Darkchild has moved too her school to live there from now on*
Blow up my school please???


  2:49 pm :. Blogger Darkchild hollered thusly:

Did I say black and white???? O.o
I mean, blue!!


  10:16 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Broomy! Chicken Soup?

Yecchy! how about something spicy and herby and Mediterranean...? Something with tomatoes! I can feed my Positive Vibes at the same time, then! (See archives for Positive Vibe goodness)

Does the Pumpkin story have a happy ending? I like the endings where they walk/shuffle off into the sunset together. THose endings make me verr happy indeed!

THankyer Lovely Darkchild! And the pic was black and white to begin with... so technically yer right.

loves
S.x


  5:34 pm :. Blogger transience hollered thusly:

i cannot believe my comment didn't register all those days ago. damn. but i love these. and i love daisies, too.


  9:26 pm :. Blogger Star hollered thusly:

Awww..! You read my older posts and even left comments!
*Leaves a whole bunch of tomatoes on the table (assumes you have a table)* Here's to your positive vibness! One good turn deserves another. :)


  8:25 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Transience AND Iridescence! You sound like you should be related or something.


Glad yer like the flowers... i really should finish posting all the others i've been promising...

My positive vibes will love the tomatoes, Iri! They'll swim around in it for ages and giggle spiritedly.

S.x



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23.4.05 | Piss Off Tony! (And Take That Fackin' Vampire With You!)



Yaay! 'tis political rant time! Anyone who can't be arsed reading about politics, can ignore the rest of this post and take the strangely accurate (for me) What Mood Are You In Quiz which i found while perusing the obviously-gorgeous Stella's Weblog. Yaay Stella!

Meanwhile... on with the bollocks!

Ah, it's election time once again in The Sceptred Isle. A time of great celebration and cheeriness (Honest!- Would i lie to you? Oh all right, yes i would.) as the "Great British Public" (laugh bitterly here) exercises its right to vote for whichever party has the biggest bribes, and is most desperate for power. And it's also a time for the Grate British Blogger (wave flag with ironic patriotism here) to take the piss somewhat. Particularly amusing to me these past couple of days, have been Scary Duck's infamous blog and Herge's er, greeny looking blog, who found his way to my comments recently. Herge is also a friend of that great british artist, Anthony Gormley... which is about as close to fame as i'll get.... Except1...

Generally speaking though, i expect that "Great British Public" will instead exercise it's right to go out and get mightily pissed in order to ignore a very limited choice and thus having to sigh themselves into a fit of deep depression over a result which verily fucks us all in the arse good and proper... again... oh, except for the rich.

I shall be voting. And here today, in a vain and desperate and (let's be frankly honest, quite pathetically inconsequential) attempt to cast some influence on these elections, i shall be saying why it won't be for that nonce, Tony or the failed undead, Michael.

But first of all, let's have a little questionnaire for the undecided's here amongst us, and see where i stand.

Props to Starbuck and Astolath, who's sites i found this on:


Who Should You Vote For?

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Liberal Democrat

Your actual outcome:


Labour -34
Conservative -57
Liberal Democrat 90
UK Independence Party 5
Green 50


You should vote: Liberal Democrat

The LibDems take a strong stand against tax cuts and a strong one in favour of public services: they would make long-term residential care for the elderly free across the UK, and scrap university tuition fees. They are in favour of a ban on smoking in public places, but would relax laws on cannabis. They propose to change vehicle taxation to be based on usage rather than ownership.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

Yup. I'm Liberal. No doubt about it.

So why not vote for Tony and New Labour? Gee, less 'ave a look, shall we?

1. Dentists: As of last month, i have no fucking NHS dentist. No more free dental care... something which us Brits have been accustomed to since the fifties. This is because our so kind New Labour government has decided that they won't pay them a decent rate to treat me (Oh and everyone else, obviously... but i don't know them) Our Beloved Leader/Vicar says he's gonna get us more "But it takes time". I say, "So why not pay the current ones what they deserve, like, y'know, you used to? Problem solved!" (Answer: "Er...").

2. PFI: (Private Finance Initiative) A scheme whereby private companies are paid shitloads of taxpayers cash, at grossly inflated rates, to treat the publics health and education and transport as cheaply and shoddily as possible. Well done, Tone! We're all impressed by that.

3. Trains: Ahahahahahahahahahaha! Dear "Visitor-to-our-country" see PFI above. And don't ever travel in the U.K. by train. Don't travel by bus either, 'cause they're shite, too.

4. Iraq: The Dear Leader really would like us to forget that we were taken to war via a web of lies and gullibility. An illegal war in which thousands of people of all creeds and colour have died and still die, for the most part in horrific circumstances. God, Tony, if that'd been me, i'd've resigned there and then, done the decent thing and descended into alcoholism, drug abuse and eventual suicide. a wasted vagrant hiding under a beard on the Capitals streets.
But not you. You probably sleep completely at ease with your righteous, yet concerned, expression upon your face. Oh, and that's another thing... that same fuckin' concerned-like you -really-are-listening-man(!) expression you adopt when listening to someone voicing their grievances to you. It' sooo fuckin' fake. Fake! Stop it! After Iraq, we're just not that gullible anymore. Desperate for anyone but the Tories, yes. but not gullible. You got that? No? Yes?

5. Mental Health: Fuck right off, Tony! Your right-wing approach to disability in this country very nearly killed one of my best friends. She came very close to losing her flat, her mind and her life. And that, more than anything here, is why i will never forgive you, and forever hate you.

6. And last but not least. The BNP (A fascist party. Like the Nazis. Yup). If this government hadn't betrayed so many of its promises, the BNP would still remain on the very fringes of society, and mocked by all decent citizens. But nooo... here in my own Harle Syke, ordinary folks voted for this party in local elections out of sheer desperation with Da Government's betrayals and now we have several on our town council. It's s shame that stains this town to this very day. (Anyone wanting to protest against these ultra right-wing predators go here, here and here. Anyone living and voting in Harle Syke and Burnley, i would also urge to visit these sites. Go on. They might have pictures of cute kittens on them! Although probably not).

And now, the reason why i won't be voting for Mickey Howard: He was part of Thatch's government and is obviously a vampire and in league with the Forces of Darkness. Obvious really. Duh!

And that's all for now, o-blessed reader. Hope that wasn't too painful for ya. Rest assured, i did my best to be entertaining by juggling babies and chainsaws every minute of typing this blog

S.x

Addendum Moment Once Again: Just found a very entertaining political blog, having read about it in todays Guardian. Here it is: Chicken Yoghurt There's several excellent links on the site, too. I'm full of envy.

1 I once had a small encounter with a celeb... details... eventually...


15 comments :.

  3:15 pm :. Blogger Herge Smith hollered thusly:

The smell of a liberal.

It's a mighty fine smell.

Good stuff, as always -

Thanks for the shout out!! I'm gonna put you as a permanent link on my blog - SO DON'T LET THE QUALITY BLOGGING SLIP!

Thanks for the advice on getting more traffic!! All the advice helps.

See ya


  3:47 pm :. Blogger my sun sets to rise again hollered thusly:

I met Dec (of Ant and Dec)once. He was with Darren Day. It was quite overwhelming (because I was with a group of girls who cared and mass-hysteria rained down)

I have that test, and that result. I just didn't post it because I'm lazy.

You know, I like travelling by train and bus. It makes me feel slightly dangerous..


  4:21 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

Saturnyne,

I loved your rant.
I will not discuss politics for the obvious reason (look what we have over here!).

I wish I had a webcam, I do so love juggling.

{{{{Huggs}}}}


  7:48 pm :. Blogger Michael Moore hollered thusly:

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


  9:00 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Michael... i'm going to have to re-read my entire post again now... like i haven't done it at least half a dozen times already! this is true ,btw... i'm a perfectionist that way.

Nope, i'm sure i said i WON'T be voting Conservative or Labour. Unless i'm missing something that's staring me obviously in the face? I admit i did write all this at a ridiculous time of the morning...

Choosing to vote for either Michael Howard or Tony Blair is like choosing two identical shades of blue in a paint shop... only with different names. Choosing Liberal Democrat, at least gives someone NEW the chance to screw up the country.

S.


  9:21 pm :. Blogger Herge Smith hollered thusly:

Hey Mister S,

Thanks for the kind words over at mine.

Send any bills for biscuit/ keyboard damage c/o Angry Chimp.

Not sure what Mister Moore is on about...

Mind you, as an american he is used to basically one choice, but two names.

Getting the same here...

Rest assured, I think you suggested I was Green... I am a liberal... ho ho ho...

Although i have a feeling they won't win... you may have picked that up from my posts.

Keep at it mister.

Btw, you're now a regular fixture of the link list - well done you. I'm fucking picky!


  2:28 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Ah no Herge, i was actually referring to the colour of yer blog... i was short of inspiration at the time... hmm... perhaps i shoulda said "kinda Turquoisey" instead. *grins*

Aye, and as soon as i sortout my icons for links, you and a heap of others are gonna get linked too... although if i haven't done it by the end of the month, i'll shove 'em all on, on a temporary ordinary looking measure so no-one feels hard done to... wouldn't be right to keep people waiting like that.

Hmm, speaking of waiting... i need to email a couple of peoples...

PS. MSSTRA: Ant 'n' Daz? No wayyy!
I like travelling by bus, too... so long as it's no longer than an hour.
PPS: Broomy!: but ya shoulda seen the chaos! Angry kittens everywhere! =}

S.


  7:29 am :. Blogger Michael Moore hollered thusly:

sorry--I, apparently, cannot read. I completely omitted a "not" whilst reading. Many apologies. I did the same thing on Cece's blog--I misread "Roy" and thought it was "Cristian".

Literacy is overrated, anyway


  7:53 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Thass ok, Michael. As a person who often makes the same mistake about ooh, five times a week, i can totally empathize with where you're coming from. I am quite sure that the blogoverse is littered with similar comments i've made after misreading someones blog.

I'm actually amazed that no-ones come here ranting about it. And i think my pithy wit can often be misread, too... so no problem.

*chuckles and gives Michael a paff on shoulder*

Heh! So how are them paintings coming along? I'm so envious of you for your skill.

S.


  6:37 am :. Blogger Star hollered thusly:

Heh, yes.. I know nothing of politics.. Much less of those over the yonder deep blue sea. :)
I tried taking the mood quiz but it wouldn't give me the answers. 'Page Not Found'. Humff.


  2:43 pm :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

OOOH! It let me post (thass got I got my new laptop type toy today!). You already know my politics my love, and my general disgust at the Tony's and Michael's of the world, but I was suprised to come out a shade greener than yellow on the test. As my dissertation was on 'The Great British Care Divide: Free Personal Care for the Elderly and the Politics of Devolution' (or something like that) you may guess where I sit on that debate!

God, I'm boring.

Janey/xxx


  12:23 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Iridescent? "Page Not Found?" Ono!

I check it out... *checks*

nope. works ok for me... anyone else having problems with that?

Janey!!! You made into comments again at last! Whoop!

More green than yellow, eh? Can't be a bad thing!

*HUGE hugs to yer!!!*

S.xxx


  6:26 am :. Blogger transience hollered thusly:

forgive me, dear. but i am grossly apolitical. i still love your writing, though. like i do your tank tops. triple yummy.


  3:02 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

THass ok, Trans. I hate talking politics too, normally. It's so dull.

But this time i really had to get some things said. See especially my reason #5. When someones politics begins to make my friends suffer, i have to do something/ everything i can. Doing nothing is not an option for me today.

Of course, one might as well command the sea to turn back for all the good it will do...

*sigh*

S.x


  5:58 pm :. Blogger Aberrant Templar hollered thusly:

*laughs*

Wait, an election where both the candidates are worthless?

Welcome to my world. The first election I was able to vote in was the Bush v. Gore election of 2000. The 2004 election was pretty crappy too.

Honestly, AL Gore and John Kerry? Anyone could out-charisma Bush. I guess I should give the Democrats credit for finding the only two people in the world who couldn't.

*sigh*



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19.4.05 | Today...



...The Saturnyne Bombs Da Crap Outta Yer!!!

oyes!

"Rain mayhem on your favourite site, with this
amusing online toy. Type in the web address and
select the method of destruction from the pull-down
menu. About as close as you'll get to Ming the
Merciless's now-legendary control panel."


It said.

On b3ta.com.

So i did!

Muhahahahahahahaha...hah! Muhahahaha... etc...hahahahah! This Evil Genius lark is a doddle.

Here's some samples of my destruction:

First i spilt coffee on you. Oops!- How clumsy! Tut tut!



Then i summoned a fleet of flying saucers to zap yours. Ooh, i bet those rays burn a bit... but don't worry, it was all for er... charity... or something...



Then i did my Noah and God Anniversary Tribute on You... (But it was reaally all about my envying you for seeing my hero when i can't)(Goddamn!)(Also: Why don't we ever get "flood" anniversary t-shirts and mugs, eh?)







Then i noticed that your blog had got mouldy from lack of use... although it's since got better... Yaay! But let that be a warning to you!



After that i saw you were celebating your blogs second birthday... So i dropped a few nukes on it to celebrate with yer. I also gave it worms... but we won't show the wormy pics... they were a bit yecchy!




More celebrations... i invited a few dinosaurs around to yours to help you celebrate yr Stag weekend and forthcoming wedding... Consider it a gift... no really!- No expense spared! And who'd have known... their colour quite matches!





And then i discovered that your blog had gotten quite overgrown... y'must have had weeds or somethin'...

From this...


...to this... in mere seconds. Disgraceful! Get a mower in! Hee!


I also destroyed several other blogs... over the course of a few pleasant and fun-filled minutes... but i began to think it was getting a bit "picture overkill" around here so stopped showing the damage.

(But if anyone wants to see what i did to their blog, then ask away and i'll update this post with more pics of evilness.)

Now get yer bloody revenge!
Shoot zer Saturnyne! Here!
.
.

35 comments :.

  4:05 am :. Blogger B hollered thusly:

ah, nice work, Sat.
however, i've no reason to seek revenge on you, as my blog has seemingly escaped your destructive urge.
you must really love me (or atleast i choose to belive that is the case)!


  4:11 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

naw, i dropped a load of eggs on yours, B! To go with yr tomato-things on toast. I just didn't wanna go mental with the pics... but i might post the rest a bit later...

No-one escapes the Saturnyne Malevolence!

Muhahaha etc... whatever... etc.

S.x


  4:23 am :. Blogger Jessie hollered thusly:

Ah, could be worse than an attack of flower power... as long as there aren't any patchouli-reeking hippies sneaking in there...


  4:39 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Ther are, i saw 'em!

I also shot the crap outta your blog Jess.. all that blood looked awesome

but not as awesome as flowers.

S.x


  4:55 am :. Blogger Star hollered thusly:

You are an evil genius, surely! I am now thinking of various 'punishments' to exact.. I mean punishments,(where on earth did the quotations come from? I swear I don't know).
Haha! I shall drown you in flowers, we'll see how awesome they are with pollen up ure nose! hehe!


  5:13 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Oh, i've always wanted flowers sprouting from my face... it'd look kinda... bohemian, don't yer think?

S.x


  5:52 am :. Blogger transience hollered thusly:

lol! please don't hurt me! i bruise easily.


  6:02 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

K, Transience... you c'n have...

MOLD!

Evil grins all round, there, i think.

Oh, and i absolutely love yr blog, Transience. You write so well.
When i update this, ye'l be one of several i shall be adding to my links.

S.x


  6:37 am :. Blogger onanymous hollered thusly:

Ooo, that was fun, although it took way too long before I managed to hit your profile pic.

And while you are updating your links, might I humbly request a less enlightening and more secretive link? Unless you are referring to my waxlike beauty of course :)


  7:41 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Hah! Candlestine was my little joke i'd forgotten about. I was beginning to think you'd never notice. =}

And but of course it shall be changed, one way or another... i'm going for symbols next. Yup, symbols. Symbols everywhere.

So you'll be "symbol something-or-other" without words. You'll look great! I hope... I expect to be told if ya don't though. We aims to please on Planet Saturnyne. Usually with guns, though...

S.x


  8:24 am :. Blogger transience hollered thusly:

wow. who knew your lounge would be oozing sweet sugar spice? you are entirely too intoxicating for a pink martini. and you put the snark back in bark. thanks for the mold. i'm cleaning up my space with latex gloves now. are you allergic to latex? i hope not.


  9:27 am :. Blogger SingleFin hollered thusly:

Coffee? Coffee? Tea I could handle, but coffee....




cruel, so cruel...


  11:27 am :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

and what did you drop on my blog Saturnyne?

And just how should I punish you?

So many diabolical and debacherous thoughts come to mind...Bwhahahaha.


  5:03 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Transience! I'm beginning to suspect you sleep less than me! Or do you rise early in Norway?

Latex gloves? I tremble with er... fear. Probably.

Singlefin: Yeah coffee stains are soo hard to remove.
BTW, if you click on yours and also Tams (Nuked) blogs, one can re-enact "the damage" over and over! Don't know how i managed that, i thought i was just posting pics, but it seems i inadvertently improved/screwed up on that. i might try and make all the pics do that cos it's fun.

Broomhilda: Paint gun. And you can punish me by sending me yummy chocolate. Hee!

S.x


  5:53 pm :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

It's soo mean, it's fun!!! The wild side in me speaks.


  7:28 pm :. Blogger Teufel hollered thusly:

I'm starting to think that Sat isn't for "Saturnyne", but for "Satan"... may I ask what terrible maquination from Hell did you create for my blogs?
Man, I guess you (just like be) were born... by exorcism!

Villalobos 02


  7:57 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

You paint gun me and think I would send you yummy choccie. Oh no, no, no.
First a spanking, then...

Bwahahahaha!


  8:06 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

http://www.netdisaster.com/go.php?mode=eggs&destruction=massive&control=on&lang=en&url=http://the-saturnynes-lounge.blogspot.com/

You've been egged!


  10:15 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

Can you feel it?

A hundred people rain a multiple of pestilences down upon your photograph...


  12:34 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Stella? You have a wild side? Who'd have guessed? Heheheh!

Teufel. Satanyne? Good idea! I shall be the nemesis of Santa! The Anti-Santa! Oh yeah, and i threw a dozen meteors at yr first, shot the crap outta yer second and stung the other one with evil wasps.

But my dear Broomhilda, i quite assure you that my suffering would be immense as i scoffed the yummy chocolate. Oh how i would suffer as i devoured every last piece. Yes. Immense suffering. Like The Popey, only with a less snazzy hat.

Hey, you egg'd me! Fiend!

Starbuck: Funny you should mention that, i was wondering about this 'ere headache.

Aah, my blog suffers for its sins... it's almost holy. And quite quite refreshing.

S.

Whos next?


  1:35 pm :. Blogger Lizzy hollered thusly:

OMG! This is so absolutely cool! Trust you to find something like that on the vast expanses of the world wide web. :P

Ah. Fun fun fun. *destroys a great many things*


  4:42 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

I knewed yer'd like that, Lizzy!

S.x


  1:23 am :. Blogger Herge Smith hollered thusly:

That was kinda fun, subverting the erm... whatever with the thingy and that.

Nice work.


  3:21 am :. Blogger transience hollered thusly:

ah. but then the question is: am i really from norway?


  3:42 am :. Blogger Cece hollered thusly:

NOT MOLD! GADS!
How horrific and...entirely suitable. Glad THAT wasn't permanent!


  4:13 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Cheers, Herge. Great profile pic, too. Wish i'd thought to nick something like that.

Transience... Whaaa!?

*looks astonished*

Ye'll be telling me yer a truck driver called Dave, from Stevenage next!
But that's ok, i'm actually a cartoon character from a little heard of animation called "Die Saturnyne!- You Filthy Filthy Swine!" and i really do look mono like my profile, too. I get murdered inventively and several times in the cartoon, incidentally. But i keep coming back. It's difficult being an immortal cartoon character, y'know. I often tire of life. but the only way i can find release is if every copy of the cartoon is destroyed.... sad, i know. But i endure. Manfully.

Cece It's ok, if you ever have mold problems in future, Transience above is great at removing stains and the like. In fact, i'm tempted to offer her a job as my personal assistant and cleaner for a week as she has a great pair of latex gloves which i would undoubtedly "admire" for the entire week... and possibly longer... I reckon a million/hour should be enticing enough? (Transience?)

S.x


  10:23 am :. Blogger The Prisoner hollered thusly:

two dozen comments! By Jehovah!!
oh wait, .S. makes up half of those himself (sneaky!)

i used to have a similar program but not as cool as that!


  10:34 am :. Blogger Herge Smith hollered thusly:

Thanks for the comments over at mine.

Appreciated - hey you get a ton of comments, mind you it does look like you put a little more effort into your blog the usual 'my life is rubbish' bloggers, which is fine for them just BORING.

Anyway the profile pic is by my close personal friend Anthony Gormley - I call him Tone, and it's a snap of 'Fields for the British Isles'(1993). I'm orange clay figure 3rd row in 4th on the left.

Check him out here;

http://www.antonygormley.com/

I'm defo up for blog linking - I need the fucking traffic for one.

Cheers


  2:48 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Hey Prisoner! What're yew sugesting? Lol

Nah, i just decided to try and answer everyone on a one to one basis is all. The comments are still above my old average though, which used to be 2.

Thanks Herge!

A friend of Mr Gormley? Excellent! And thanks for the info.

S.


  3:06 pm :. Blogger me hollered thusly:

I totally shot up your blog with a bloody gun. twas great fun.

very therapeutic, too.


  6:38 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

Ok Saturyne, time for a fresh post!

Better be soon...

I have heard the carrots plotting, something about taking pumpkin to the top of the Sears Tower in Chicago...

I thought I had better warn you.


  8:17 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Me! you did, did ya? Well i stomped on ya with dinosaurs!

Broomhilda: Awww! but i'm still enjoying this one!

*pouts*

Anyways, the next one is probably all about da elecshuns going on over here and i need ta think about it...

Alternatively, it could be a post for all you ladies out there! In which case, i need to go scouting arond the net for "that which is required". Ahh, the lengths i go to to please my "fans"

S.x



*grins salaciously*


  8:29 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

You're so cute when you pout.


  8:59 pm :. Blogger Teufel hollered thusly:

Man, when will you visit me? Mr. Teufel is waiting, I even have tea and cookies for my visitors...
And wait till Halloween... no "trick or treat", just TRICK!!!
(and we have April's Fool Day on December, so be ware)

Villalobos 02


  2:39 pm :. Blogger Darkchild hollered thusly:

Oh my god!!!
I know I'm a bit late, but that was because I was laughing my ass off!!! ^-^
Gawd, how do you do this!!!

*laughs evily*



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12.4.05 | Best Mr Man in the World. Evah!



During the course of one of our wild and rambuctious Yahoo tri-conversations* some time ago, Tam and i found ourselves making Mr Men on some website or other (No i can't be arsed to go and find it for you... i'm being lazy today. Try Google or something. Off you pop.)

Anyway, it seems i took a snapshot of mine using Hello. I stumbled across the pic today while sorting through my image archive...


I see him as a kind of transvestite hard nut Mr Man, who'd just as soon stomp on your pretty face with his glam "fuck-you-up" boots, as share make-up tips. Or mebbe both at once.

I think my fave other Mr Man was Mr Jelly. I identified with him a lot. I would have liked Mr Messy, too. but The Man got him and tidied him up. Splitters!

And did anyone see the telly progs? As narrated by the wonderful Arthur Lowe? They were even better than the books... *sigh*

Right, i've had enough of this reminiscing bollocks! I must be getting old. Next post, i'm gonna blow yer blogs up... oyes. See if i don't!

Addendum Bollocks The Prisoner found the place where we make Mr Men. Props to him for finding it again. But minus a zillion for reminding me why i didn't go back after clicking onhis link... that voice.

Tiny Appendix Thing
*meaning to have three conversations on the go at once. With each other. They'd be the stuff of legends if anyone published them... especially for the awful spelling...

17 comments :.

  12:02 pm :. Blogger 3rd daughter hollered thusly:

i confess to buying a boxed set of all the mr men books for my nephew so that i could read them :) mr tickle will always be my favourite


  12:23 pm :. Blogger Motormouth hollered thusly:

Mr Bastard. I like that. Excellent!


  4:58 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

Arthur Lowe was the perfect Mr Manarrator. He brought such a lovely... Mannering'ness... to it.


  7:46 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

Mr. Bastard is breath-taking!


  3:21 am :. Blogger Star hollered thusly:

I love the pigtails!


  8:01 pm :. Blogger PPQ hollered thusly:

yeah...Mr Bastard's a goody...I liked Mr Messy, who was just a scribble. Oh and Mr Tickle.


  9:34 pm :. Blogger Teufel hollered thusly:

Well, well, well: is it idea of mine or Mr. Saturnyne likes spending some time in Internet and TV? *5 thumbs up* *wonders where does the 5th thumb come from*
See you later, man!

Villalobos 02


  1:06 pm :. Blogger Darkchild hollered thusly:

Hehehe, I remember I had something from that stuff when I was little or something...A Jigsaw I believe...

You're gonna blow our blogs???
Sounds interesting ^-^
*curious*

Hugs!!!


  5:58 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Yeah, i'm gonna blow yer blogs. An' shoot them! An' burn them!

And i hope to have pictures to prove it!

Complete with exclamations!

Like this:

!!!


  9:25 pm :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

..still looking for my mr. man...he could be anywhere...


  12:15 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Heyyy, Stella... how about...RIGHT HERE!?!?

*grins flirtily*

S.x


  6:22 pm :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

you got my hint (wink, wink)
the greatest mr. man evah


  8:00 pm :. Blogger The Prisoner hollered thusly:

oh stella!
stella-ha!

i've got the interpol song in my head now, and it wont go away.

what about Mr Hobo, i could see that working!


  6:26 am :. Blogger Michael Moore hollered thusly:

That really looks like "Mr. Angry I'm Sweedish"


  6:54 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Yeah! Then it'd be Mr Inga!

Pris'ner! I think we've done that one. lol

S.


  12:09 am :. Blogger Teufel hollered thusly:

I'm still expecting for Mr. Saturnyne to try to blow our blogs... is that a menace? or just a way to keep us busy with our blogs? *intrigue music*. Naca naca... I don't care so much about MY blogs, just try not to do anything bad to Darkchild's one, that's great (I'm a nice guy, but don't summon the green giant inside me).

Villalobos 02


  3:45 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

But Mr Teufel!

Oh, all right.

She's safe... for now... Muhahahahaha!

=}

S.



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7.4.05 | Haiii- YAH! (Part Three: Lost In Translation)



So here we are.

The final post at last...

(thank feck fer that... i was starting to get bored)

As you might deduce from my two previous posts, i grew up being immensely fond of cinema from The Orient...alternately being delighted and awestruck at the subtleties of films like Rouge and Light The Red Lantern, then the all-out fightfests, war and mysticism of respectively, Mr Vampire, Ran and Hero... not to mention the occasional ultraviolence of such films as Hard Boiled and Battle Royale etc. I love 'em all!

I took da Pumpkin to see Hero at the flicks, ya know. Well, dragged... and she... didn't quite hate every minute... but she puts up with it cos i'm adorable or something.

"Great film!", i enthused all the way home to my long suffering Pumpkin... "Quite, quite beautiful! Heroic, too, would ya know! I say, Pumpkin!- wake up! Wasn't it a great film?!? Wasn't it?!?!"

Pumpkin might well have been a bit poorly at this point, i think, for she rolled her eyes and groaned a lot during my enthusement... something she ate, perhaps?

One of those films that one puts down in ones "must get" list for DVD's and such. Wow! We could watch it over and over!

So when it came out, i obviously bought it. Obviously.

... Unfortunately, Pumpkin happened to claim to be busy/ill/practising yogic calming techniques (Said the latter was necessary in order to prevent violent murders or something) on all the weekends i suggested we could watch it.

So alas, i ended up watching it alone. And it was there, midway through my happy solitary viewing, that i really did discover the power of words. And one word in particular.

That word being "Yaaargh!" (give or take an Ay, Ar, Gee, and Haich)

Yes, "Yaaargh!".

There i was, happily enjoying the action. The action at this point being a rather pretty duel between the female leads in an autumnal leafy setting. And the younger one attacks with a warlike cry:

"Yaaargh!" She cried.

And then "Yaaargh!".She did it again!

"Yaaargh!". And again!

And then guess what? A bit later on in the film, when i'd just about recovered from my disbelieving laughter...

"Yaaargh!"

"But Mr The Saturnyne, sir!- how do you know it is spelt like that?" i hear you ask.

Subtitles! (imagine i'm saying this word today, with the look of one who has just eaten a bit out of an apple. An apple with half a maggot within. And i'm a person who finds subtitles most agreeable... at least before yummy alcohol has reduced my skills at reading. Do you ever get that? Trying to read something while drunk, only to find the words are being mischievous and having a bit of a dance party on the page?).

Now call me an old fusspot if ya don't like life, but somehow i don't think i need that word being spelt out for me in the subtitles below. Not even if i'm deaf. No really! I think it's plain for all to see the emotion the young lady is trying to convey as she tries to carve her mistress into dogfud, i really do. And if we start heading down that road, who's to stop us from adding other sound effects to other films? fer example:

Violent moves would have words like "Skutch!" and "Shrikt!" added. Romantic couples running through ocean waves (or moody moonlit puddles) would have "Splish! Splash!" thrown nonchalanlty into them. Porn films, too... usually preceded by "Urgh! Ughhh!" Perhaps the odd "Sploosh" and "Shlipt" might crop up in there, too. I could go on, but i reckon yer get my drift by now...

Honestly.

"Yaaargh!"

Tchah!

Pathetic. And absurd. Totally ruined the film for me. I couldn't help but giggle at all the seriousness after that... I say sack these inept translators! I might also say, sack the dubbing guys on Crouching Tiger, as well. Cos i really don't think American accents suit the scenery, y'know. (No disrespect to my beloved Americky friends, btw).

Right. god knows what i'm gonna blog about next... i fear i may have some ridicule to throw upon Mr Popes funeral... but i fear rather more that i will have a few choice words to say about Mr Blair and other politicians regarding our forthcoming elections here in the U.K. I have a bone to pick with him...

15 comments :.

  1:21 am :. Blogger Aberrant Templar hollered thusly:

Hero wasn't too bad. Personally I look forward to Kung Fu Hustle. :-)


  9:53 am :. Blogger Star hollered thusly:

I've actually never seen a movie with subtitles yet. I love to read and I enjoy movies but I'm afraid the horridness I've heard surrounding the use of subtitles has caused me to incessently avoid watching them. It's made me think that the subtitles would ruin my luv of reading (which I just can't have), and at the very least make me distrust movies. It's the only reason I haven't seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
Kung Fu Hustle-just saw a preview for that today! (Fist day I watch tv in 2 months..must be a sign, hehe)


  10:49 am :. Blogger Lizzy hollered thusly:

Kung Fu Hustle is HILARIOUS!!! LOL. You'd love it if you haven't seen. Crouching Tiger was unrealistic, too much Hollywood influence in my opinion, too much like junk food. >_<

And THAT is really 'wth' subtitling. o_O;;
Yaaargh?
As in the high-pitch scream the lead heroine utters as she goes flying pass, various articles of coloured garment streaming behind her and her pointy sword aimed at a random fiend's throat? XD

Well we have foreign films here that go "Horses running across screen" and "Sound of cupboard being opened" being flashed incredulously across the subtitle lines that leave us wondering about the intellectual levels of the person actually writing it..

'American dubbing' = a buffet of highly inaccurate and often rediculous translations. x__x


  12:09 pm :. Blogger Jessie hollered thusly:

I imagine subtitles are not the perfect solution, but they certainly open up new worlds as far as cinema goes. However you're right, some things don't require translation :)


  12:33 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

I love subtitles! Especially when I've seen the film the second or third time, then I actually start to notice all the unnecessary words.

Dubbing should be outlawed! Anyone caught dubbing a film should be staked out naked to a fire-ant hill and smeared with honey!

Saturnyne I agree, reading is near impossible once alcohol has entered the picture, then again, so is typing.


  8:02 pm :. Blogger onanymous hollered thusly:

Yes, dubbing is evil (except maybe in Anime movies.) I had the misfortune of seeing a dubbed version of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon by mistake - never again!

And I actually pity the subtitle-phobic people out there. They are missing out on some of the best movies ever.

Btw, the sound effect subtitles are usually only part of the subtitles for the hearing impaired. I've never seen them used at a cinema.


  8:31 pm :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

Hero was overhyped, in my humble opinion.

As to forthcoming posts, there is always the wedding of Chaz and Horseface to comment upon. I find musing on the current state of UK politics a little depressing and a lot futile.

Janey/xx

PS...Iridescent, if you want to watch a great movie with subs try Zatoichi - it's really good, and quite funny, as well as aching noble.


  3:52 pm :. Blogger me hollered thusly:

I'm pretty sure when I saw Zatoichi it had subtitles. I try my damndest to stay away from dubbed movies. It harks back to the crazy martial arts films of the 70s and the character's mouth isn't moving, but they're still speaking. I hate that.

but yes, someone mentioned anime - my copy of Spirited Away wasn't subtitled - but considering that was mainly aimed at kids, I'm not surprised. I didn't mind the use of dubbing there...


  11:50 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Love the comm's guys!

Personally, i find that a good 70% of all my favourite movies are subtitled... with a good number coming from France and Hong Kong/China

I think my tope ten faves run thus:
1. Amelie... a utopian vision of Paris, sure... but so beautiful and romantic! It hits so many notes for me. Plus it's terribly funny at times.
2. Wings of Desire... Probably the only German film i totally adore. Hollywood remade it (Badly as usual) and called it City of Angels. A slow film at times, but immense in beauty and poetry and truly beautiful. It's even got cameos by Nick Cave and Peter Falk!
3. Crouching Tiger... criticized in its native China for being too "Hollywood" but we in the west never quite saw anything quite like this before. Not afraid to be sadly beautiful. Definitely better than Hero in retrospect.
4. Betty Blue... a verr erotic road movie from France. A tragic love story. And typically full of French passion in every sense. I stil can't get the theme tune out of my head. I totally blubbed at the end.
5. The Seven Samurai. A great film by Akira Kurosawa. I could easily have chosen any of his others here, such is the brilliance of this Japanese director.
6. Hard Boiled... gotta have a cops-and-triad-ultra-violent-mad-shootout-fest type film in here somewhere, and this is it.
7. The Motorcycle Diaries... aww it's just bee-yootiful!
8. Cinema Paradiso... a film about film! Set in an Italian town. It says so many thing about love. I blubbed at the ending to this, too!
9. Must have one of the Chinese Ghost movies in here, but which to choose? The beautiful and sad "Rouge" The hideously silly 'Mr Vampire'... or the equally hideously silly 'Spooky Encounters'? Or mebbe 'A Chinese Ghost Story'? Gah! They're all great... but as i like romance, i think Rouge just edges the others. Just.
10. The Three Colours Trilogy Red/White/Blue. Cheating slightly, here, but all three films are supertastic!

And on a final note: it might sound a tad patriotic, but my favourite film maker is still English... and called Mike Leigh. =}

S.x


  4:50 am :. Blogger Star hollered thusly:

Wow, so many to choose from! (Thanks Janey/xx for the Zatoichi suggestion!)


  5:45 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

I should give myself prizes for overusing the word "Beautiful"

Hah!

S.


  11:04 am :. Blogger onanymous hollered thusly:

I don't think I would even be able to create a top ten list - there are just so many that I adore.

If you are looking for another excellent German movie, try 'Goodbye, Lenin!' by Wolfgang Becker. It is set at the time of the fall of the Berlin wall and is hilarious and tragic at the same time.

Then there is also the Iranian movie, 'Children of Heaven'. The plot simple, but it is just so charming, and the last scene is one of my favourites ever.

And 'Goya in Bordeaux' and 'Tango' by Carlos Saura. Very surreal, but hauntingly beautiful.

Ok, enough dreaming now. I have to get back to work.


  1:35 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Thanks Onan!

I was thinking that i'd never seen 'Goodbye Lenin' as i wrote that list... and now you've reminded me of some others that i wanted to see... Ace!

I'm also trying to remember an innuit film i saw the other year... hard to remember the orginal name, but i think it was translated as 'The Fast Runner' purdy cool. And i totally regret not having any space for 'Delicatessen', City of God' and a few hundred others from around the globe... *sigh* just not enough time!

Time for a bit of a laugh next, methinks.
S.x


  12:23 pm :. Blogger Motormouth hollered thusly:

I watch a lot of foreign films, and I have no problem with subtitles. Most of the films I watch are ultraviolent ones though. Watched The Eye last night, another great Asian horror film.


  5:55 pm :. Blogger Woman at the well hollered thusly:

In my opinion, dubbing is a crime against the movie industry. I´d rather just watch than listening to that!



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4.4.05 | Haiiii YAH! (Part Two: In Which The Saturnyne Explores The Esoteric Wisdoms of the Water Margin)



"Do not despise the serpent for being legless. For who is to say that he will not buy you a nice big drink later?"

"A pub with cheap vodka is worth more than a pebble without imperfections."

When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other. Or alternately, a nice big drink of something yummy and alcoholic."


- Chinese proverbs as interpreted by The Saturnyne

Another, even better telly series from The Orient, was The Water Margin. As fun as Monkey was, this was war! Nine dozen heroes fighting heinous tyranny from their fortress in the water margins of Liang Shan Po. Plots! Counter-plots! Character development! Kickass swordfights and battles! Even the opening credits have a big fuckoff battle! Yowsa!

And every episode had a really cool proverb you could carry away with you to reflect on, then spout off in weird moments of gibberish to all your school chums in a vain attempt to seem cool and "wise beyond your years". For some reason still unknown to me, i always seemed to fail at that one. More often than not sounding "stupid beyond my years" instead. Can't think why...

Thinking back on it all now, one can see these programmes and others like them as early forerunners of the modern day martial arts movie epic. Stuff like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Hero.

The theme tune for this show began "dum da dum, da dumdum" repeated a few times. It sounded kinda cool and tense.

The final part of this "truly thrilling" extended post (In which i will make a bitter denouncement, no less!) will be posted sometime this week. After that- more bollocks. Yaay! Mebbe even some otters and squirrels. And pumpkins. gotta have me some pumpkins somewhere! I just gotta!

Please don't faint with excitement. Thank-you.

S.

13 comments :.

  5:41 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

anxiously awaiting...

for the vodka.


  10:09 pm :. Blogger 3rd daughter hollered thusly:

i want to see the otters and squirls!!


  11:45 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

And I want to listen to the soundtrack...


  2:52 am :. Blogger Jessie hollered thusly:

Put me down for a t-shirt :)


  3:20 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Right.

Vodka: Check. (And incidentally Broomhilda is just about the most awesome name evah! Hee!)

Otters n'n Squirls: Check. Haw! "Squirls"! =}

Soundtrack: Check. (Otters 'n' Squirls soundtrack?)

T-shirt: Check. (Otters 'n' Squirls t-shirt?)

Don't you lot have a local Vodka 'n' Otters 'n' Squirls 'n' soundtrack 'n' t-shirt shops near yr own homes, then? They're all the rage in Harle Syke at the moment!

Sometimes the otters 'n' squirls get a bit rowdy after nicking the vodka tho'...


  3:37 pm :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

Haven't seen many otters around my part of the States, lots of squirls, little bastards are always stealing my vodka.

Glad you like the name. Saturnyne is a pretty cool name as well.


  4:56 pm :. Blogger Teufel hollered thusly:

Vodka? Well, I already ran out of it (should have saved some). Hey, Mr. Saturnyne! When or in what dimension did those shows were on? :D Can't wait to see it again! (should open my own TV network).

Villalobos 02


  7:48 am :. Blogger Star hollered thusly:

Yay! I know at least three people now who offer vodka as a bit of refreshment while blogging, Broomhilda *nods* is one of them. I shall now be pleasantly buzzed all of the time thanks to all of you!
I like squirrels. They're like little darty cats with a windmill for a tail. I'll take 'em if no one wants 'em!:)


  4:13 am :. Blogger B hollered thusly:

no vodka for me, i prefer bourbon.
love the saturnyne's interpretation of the proverbs. perfect!


  8:37 am :. Blogger broomhilda hollered thusly:

Saturnyne,
Never fear about the evil boggarts, they have no power over me. i won't let them get you either.


  10:22 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Cheers Broomhilda! But i get along with all manner of boggarts, pixies, thurses... tis all a matter of being polite (but not too polite)

B! Yeah, i must perverse some more of them chinese sayings sometime.

S.x


  9:09 pm :. Blogger Max hollered thusly:

Monkey, Harold Lloyd and now The Water Margin. Welcome to the 80s BBC 2 Teatime Gang!

How many of us tried to run like that Flash character? I also digged the huge dude with red and white polka-dot outfit. One remembers the handsome Lin Chung and the phwoar blimey Su Lin. And the villain, who was more scarey-looking than Anakin in la'er years.

In the words of Bob Hope's signature tune: Thanks for the memory.

Now...how about a Haiii YAH! (Part Three: My Uncle The Ass-kicking Aspidistra) on The Adventure Game, huh? :)


  6:10 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Ah yeeeah! I remember that... from the Planet Arg?

I'll come back to that sometime in the future, i hope.

Thanks back atcha for THAT memory!

S.



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1.4.05 | Haiii-YAH!!!! (part one)



When i was a small Saturnyne, one of the highlights of my monday tea-times was a double-whammy of Harold Lloyd and Monkey

Harold Lloyd was this extraordinary slight bespectacled silent-age comedian doing these outrageous and very dangerous stunts and i would sit there gobsmacked with tea quite forgotten marvelling at his sheer ingenuity and unassuming and quite totally heroic escapades which were also damned funny on many occasions... (Ok, you can breathe in now, i lost my commas there for a moment)

Just thinking about this stunt gives me the heebie-jeebies!

The title song on these programmes began something like "Make way for Harold lloyd! Ya-da,dada-da-daa-DAH!"

A pair of glasses and a smile!

...Then i would continue to be gobsmacked. By the incredible Magic Wishing Staff wielding Monkey spirit, his pet cloud, and his two sidekicks, Sandy (A water-spirit-monster) with the permanently put-upon expression, and the lascivious and vulgar Pigsy (A pig-spirit, obviously. Keep up, you at the back!) as they guided the androgynous looking monk, Tripitaka (a monk)(Ho-ho) on his way to retrieve some sacred scrolls of enlightenment.


Monkey!

Or maybe it was just some nice sauce recipes they wanted, to go with their noodles. I dunno, i don't think they ever got there in the end... wherever it was... India or somesuch place...

So obviously, said scrolls were located thousands of miles away. Otherwise it'd only have been a couple of episodes long. Nowadays of course, they'd just order them from Amazon.com and spend the next five million episodes sitting around in their flat, while Amazon kept apologizing for the delay every six weeks...

Fucked if i know how the theme tune lyrics to that one went, btw; although the words "Monkey Magic" featured prominently i'm sure. If anyone wants to have a stab at "Singing" it in the comments, just go right ahead and ignore the smirks i'll be throwing you... Haw!

(Late News) Oh hey! I've just found out that Tripitaka the monk was played by a woman called Masako Matsumi!

Tripitaka!


For years Triipitaka confused me... I had the hugest crush on a character i thought was a woman... and then one day it sank in that Monkey and Co. referred to her as "Master". OMG! She was a He? Nooo! But now He's a She again? Sneaky! Great! I can fancy her again, now.

Except she's dead.
Pisser!

Ah well, she'd probably be a bit old for me anyhow.

(Don't you fecking say a WORD, Mr Carl! Not a WORD! Don't even GRIN! I was drunk!)


S.

15 comments :.

  3:57 pm :. Blogger Lizzy hollered thusly:

w00t~ Lol. Journey to the West!! Ahh, Asian classics, now that I can deal with. :P There has to be hundreds of versions of that show.. Well, yes, he is a monk, and therefore he ought to be quite male...

Loved that series as a kid meself, hell, there are still versions of it being screened these days.. No Chinese kid grows up without knowing what Xi You Zi (Journey to the West) is. Never thought you guys on the other side of the globe got stuff like that. :P


  5:31 pm :. Blogger me hollered thusly:

Ooh.. Saturnyne... sounds like you have drunken stories you're not sharing with us...

...and the entire world.

hm. maybe I can see why?

No.
I've decided. You must share. :)


  6:40 pm :. Blogger Carl hollered thusly:

Drunk ? Drunk, blind, comatose or dead wouldn't have excused the Shooter's incident.

On the subject on Monkey it went :

Do do dooo do, Monkey Magic, do do do do, Monkey Magic, do do do do etc.

Adjust inline with my performances on Singstar and it's like you're there.

Or you could download the mp3 from TV Cream (don't worry folks it's the original theme not me singing it), remember kids downloading copyright material that you aren't the legal holder of may be an offense in your country and may result in the BPA , RIAA or your equivalent coming round and kicking your puppy.


  11:43 pm :. Blogger my sun sets to rise again hollered thusly:

Monkey looks like my dad did in the 70's. (when he still had hair.)


  4:18 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Lizzy. Yeah thass the one. THe fabled stories of that adventurous monk, who wandered far and wide around the lands of the Far East and it's neighbours. I often wonder why they invented all the myths around him, when he was perfectly awesome in his own right. And on this side of the globe (Or at least in England) we totally adore all this stuff... part two of this extended post is about another Eastern series... i wonder if you'll be able to guess which one? (Hint: It came ot around the time of this Monkey series)

ME: oyess, i have lotsa drunken tales! Debauchery and quite often utter stupidity (with charm, obviously) And i'm sure i can recount this one at some point in the near future... Hmm, i must remember to email you sometime soon

Carl: Splitter! (Neat link though.)

M.S.S.T.R.A: Wot? Golden headband as well? Blameh! =]

S.


  5:17 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

oyeah, did i mention that there's some obscure point to my peeking back into the murky past of martial arts style dramas?

All will be revealed in part three!

Don't hold yer breath though, it's a completely irrelevant point. Hah!

S.


  5:27 am :. Blogger Star hollered thusly:

Sad to say I've never seen it. Perhaps I shalt google it. ? We'll see how lazy I am this weekend and go from there, I think :)


  5:32 am :. Blogger Star hollered thusly:

*sneaks another comment in*
lol, only commenting on the fact that you last comment wasn't on there the fist time I posted. Sneaky!
I wonder if when I hit the back button if part 2 will mysteriously have appeared. hmm..


  7:03 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Never seen it?!? Oh the shame! Well it hasn't aged terribly well, i'm afraid.. .the martial arts are almost hammy to an extreme. But still kinda fun, i guess.

The stories usually run like this: Nasty Demon (Grr!) waylays our heroic companions and captures all of them except Monkey. Monkey then comes along and rescues them from the Nasty Demon (Grr!), who usually turns out to be married to a nagging spouse who he dearly loves and he only wanted to waylay the heroes to impress her. Then Monkey usually twats them all one with his staff. Then someone dies, usually the Nasty Demon (Grr!) or his missus, in a dramatically tragic love/death scene which goes on forever. Then the companions reflect on all this for a couple of seconds in a sort of "Oh wow!- Demons have feelings too!" kind of way and then they all piss off merrilly on their way to the next sad-demon-slaughterfest.

Jerry Springer would love it.

Nearly as shameful as being awake at 6:31 a.m., by the way.

I've just been giggling at my only half-coherent replies, as my highly trained otters attempt to keep my eyelids open via clever use of string and pulleys.

I think i'll go to bed now. I'm starting to hallucinate.

Or am i? Eeep!

S.x


  9:28 am :. Blogger Lizzy hollered thusly:

I cringe at anything intended to be Asian that was made out of Asia. Hollywood makes martial arts look like something you can learn out a '10 steps to success' guidebook.

Hmm, another series? The Eight Immortals? Legend of the Condor Hero? Hmmm.. What else is there..


  2:46 pm :. Blogger Max hollered thusly:

"his pet cloud" -- had to laugh out loud at that one...


  1:44 am :. Blogger my sun sets to rise again hollered thusly:

Well, it was a bad decade for everyone really..


  2:31 pm :. Blogger Jessie hollered thusly:

Great! I've not seen either though, either... eek those otters are starting on me


  11:39 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

Monkey was probably the greatest show ever made. Ah, sweet nostalgia, remembering watching it round my mate Ben's house with our Weebles.

And joy of joys, upon visiting China a few years back, to find a wealth of entertainment sourced from the original legend... still, the Japanese did it the best!


  11:43 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

Oh, and curse you for putting the incredibly catchy Harold Lloyd music in my internal jukebox.

A disturbing show, that one. Lots of shots of lunatics wrapping iron bars around our hero's head, and vice versa. Amazing stunts, though. Shame about the narrator.



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