25.11.04 | Staircase Analogies (+The Saturnyne Get All Angular)

Nietzche said:

"If you gaze into The Abyss, then the Abyss will gaze also into you".

These photographs, are part of a much larger project that i have been working casually on for many years.

The idea for the project came about upon the discovery of a French Parisian phrase i discovered:

L'esprit D'escalier.

I'm not sure if that's the correcr spelling. But at this time of night, i can't be arsed to go and check. Anyway, it means The Spirit of the Staircase and defines that precise moment when you've lost the argument, and stormed out of some (Parisian) apartment, and are standing on that(Parisian) staircase, suddenly thinking of all the things, those witty, cutting, scathing things that you would have liked to have remembered to have said during the aforementioned argument.

And now it's too late. You lost. Deal with it. Or don't.

AS i took the pictures, over several years, i began also to see a Yin and Yang within them, and started to imagine the stairs as a connection between Heaven and Hell:

You stand at the summit... and you stare down into The Abyss, into the terror below... you may be in your Heaven, but feel a chill emanating from those depths. You know a moment of fear...

You crouch in the depths, wretched, and gaze up into the beautiful light. The light offers redemption. You know you can never reach it. And your agony is increased manifold by that hopeless hope...

I The Saturnyne, traverse the path between these points. Without ever reaching or touching either of them. That is my blessing. That is my curse.

L'esprit d'Escalier1

L'esprit d'Escalier1 (At last i find a use for the "Glowing Edges" filter in Photoshop)

L'esprit d'Escalier2 Oh, the lines! HElp!- I'm falliiiiii-

L'esprit d'Escalier3(More angles than you can shake a pointy stick at!)

These pics are for Darkchild And Princess Potty Mouth who requested "Nothing". I hope my interpretation fulfills that request... more pictures of other requests will follow as i pull the scrumpled bits of paper out of the rat... (i couldn't find a hat, so i got a "volunteer").

PS: i also suffer from vertigo...


  6:28 am :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

Escher in photgraph.

You asked me a little while ago what I would like to see you photograph. I would like to see your hands.

  7:04 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

hands it is, then... or hand...

  11:57 am :. Blogger The Prisoner hollered thusly:


do more escher stuff

like a photo of an impossible shape :P

  12:29 pm :. Blogger Zen hollered thusly:

wow...how strange. Looking at those images, I don’t sense heaven or hell, or an abyss, but I get a sense of time, like I am looking down into centuries past, and if I descended the stairs perhaps I will find the renaissance or medieval times, or if I went far enough, maybe even times before recorded history. Perhaps the further down you go the more ancient and dilapidated the stair is, but I can only see a small part of it, those parts closest to me. And what would I find if I was to ascend?…both possibilties seem frightening and wonderful at the same time.

  5:31 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Wow! A plethora of great comments!

Real cool comm. Zen! I always take great delight in seeing other peoples visions in my constructs. I have thought about your words at great length today. =]

Escher, eh? Not thought of that... but now i do, i think i may have some other one's lying around which you may find even more Escher like... won't be posting them until the new year though... it's a matter of finding the time to scan and remove any imperfections, y'see...

  7:00 pm :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

Grand - I love Escher (and Dali & Geiger but they may be a little more tricky!)

Meant to ask - did you nick the link to the film on your previous post from Sat's Guardian??! And I took my house of me blog - you are right and sensible as ever!

Bet ya still had a look though!

  7:51 pm :. Blogger Darkchild hollered thusly:

Awww, thank you so much!!!

It's very cool to see some-one else's interpretation of 'nothingness' and I like these pictures a lot!!!


  10:34 pm :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

stairway to heaven or dante's inferno?

i love it!! the choice is ours and the idea is yours...

thanks for lovely imaginings that come from 'nowhere'



  2:11 am :. Blogger Princess Potty Mouth hollered thusly:

Thanks... I like the whole empty nothingness... quite apreciated... later dude

  12:50 pm :. Blogger Jessie hollered thusly:

Very cool pictures! Thanks... looking into the distance in the midst of the stairwells I was confronted with the future, the unknown and myself. I like.

  6:14 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Cheers! Am curious to know though, if anyone likes the second pic more or less than the others?

Am quite fond of it meself, but mebbe i'm just infatuated with it looking different?


  2:38 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

If anyone reads this. Apologies for not dropping by anyones blog. Am feeling empty. Will return in a little while...

  2:56 pm :. Blogger Dani hollered thusly:

I love the pics. :-)
But that last one... I don't know. It makes me uncomfortable. Reminds me of a place I don't want to be. It looks just like a hospital I was in as a child; brought there after an accident I had, and was seeing views like that from the gurney I was laying on. The black & white makes it feel that much more cold.

  3:14 am :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

the empties hmmm?

not a problem! i'll just send you beams and beams of light bubbles and in no time (or about 30 seconds) you'll start floating and giggling uncontrollably and anyone who is near you will be caught by your contagious joy, then next thing you know, all of england will be rolling around laughing with tears streaming from their eyes and people can't tell if they're laughing or crying but it doesn't matter because everyone's got a goofy smile on their faces and can't stop.

just because you're a friend and you've done the same for me many times.

cheers and bubble lights!

  2:18 pm :. Blogger Cece hollered thusly:

How come when I requested hands, I got nuthin? Okay. BRING ON THE KIMONO!

  4:20 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Thanks, Stella. Your medicine worked a treat. =} I really should keep some of my positive vibes in reserve for meself at times...
Hey, dear Cece, i hadn't forgotten your request! Assuredly, at least one of your requests will appear as soon as it gets pulled outta the rat. The fact that both you and Janey want hands makes it more easy for meee. (Although, i'm not sure how i'm gonna both hold this digital camera AND shoot me hands, too!


  5:17 pm :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

Sorry CeCe, didn't recall you asking for hands! I'll have to think of something original now....

However, husband just been in a car crash (he's ok thank god), but brain is pixilated so inspiration will have to wait.

S, will try and blog proper tomorrow - glad you are feeling a bit brighter - J/xx

  12:38 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

No no no! Janey! Hands is gooood! Cece also asked for other stuff, too, and i intend to fulfil ALL requests one way or another...

*grins mischievously*

Post a Comment

22.11.04 | The Saturnyne Invites You -YES YOU!- To Do Unspeakable Things To Penguins! (What Larks!)

Now this is fan-friggin'-tastic! And soooo seasonal.

It's like a whole new kinda Winter Sport!!! Abuse penguins in seasonal merriment!!! Willing submissive penguins!!! God how fucking perverted is that? Really fucking perverted in my books! An' thass why i love it so. My, i'm SPENT from just thinking about it!

Oh, the link.

Do ya want it? Do ya wannnnt ittt? I can tell that yer gaggin' fer it, now i've hyped it up so much!

Ok, here it is: Abuse The Penguins!

Oh, yeah, did i mention that there's a yeti involved?

PLUS... more goodness below

Mr Breakfast. The Superhero of breakfasts everywhere.

And finally. A Series Of Unfortunate Events... you have the option of not clicking the eye and claiming your miserable reward... don't say you weren't warned.... Bwahahahahaha!


  5:30 pm :. Blogger The Prisoner hollered thusly:

hmm saw that at school a while ago, and like all internet crazes at school it was banned very quickly, rather like the happy tree friends...urrgh

  8:23 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

What?!?! They banned it?! The Bastards!

  3:12 am :. Blogger Princess Potty Mouth hollered thusly:

I want to see that movie so much... like a lot.... I enjoyed the yeti game but I suck at video games and such but thanx for the laugh anyway

  2:18 pm :. Blogger Lizzy hollered thusly:

Lol! Really cute games. The movie looks awesome. But haven't heard a thing bout it here in Singapore.

  6:54 pm :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

You've had snow??? No....that's so unfair!!! I live much further North and all we've had in drizzling, grey, morbid rain. Pah!

As to penguin abuse, v.funny! Love the film link, and I can't wait to see that and the Incredibles. Watched the travesty that is Troy this weekend with Brad 'Wooden Boy' Pitt. Thought Hector was pretty fit mind you!

Missing you darling, work is not bloody fair!

Post a Comment

20.11.04 | Listen, The Snow Is Falling

"Is it snowing?"says one elderly Parental Unit, peering short-sightedly out of the window.

"Nah", we all say.

Then we look again.

Blameh! It is!

And i can't resist, but have to hurtle myself outside into a flurry of snowflakes. Oh gorgeous pure whiteness; kissing my face with icy lips! What a thrill!

"Wait!- Don't you want a scarf?" but i laugh with wild joy as the elders voice fades bemusedly into the distance and the silence of the first herald of Winter.

Later, i stand with gleeful arms outstretched as a million icy meteors explode in slo-mo around me.

Alas, that the Earth is yet warm, and so these meteors fail to take hold and clothe the land sufficiently with silence.

But who can resist, with child-like heart, the first snows of Winter? I for one, cannot. And walking home, i sing the one good song that Yoko Ono ever sang. Named like the title of this post.

Listen, The Snow Is Falling

Listen the snow is falling over town
Listen the snow is falling everywhere
Between Empire State Building
And between Trafalgar Square
Listen the snow is falling over town

Listen the snow is falling over town
Listen the snow is falling everywhere
Between your bed and mine
Between your head and my mind
Listen the snow is falling over town

Between Tokyo and Paris
Between London and Dallas
Between your God and mine
Listen the snow is falling everywhere

Snow dream
Snow fall
Snow fly

The track can be found here currently; On The Galaxie 500 website (One of my favourite bands) Galaxie 500 also do an even better cover of it as well. Unfortunately, it seems that the site has run outta download bandwidth for the next several days. What a pisser! Pity.

Going back to Yoko. AS well as being responsible for this one beautiful piece of music she is also responsible for THIS, which is without doubt the most reprehensible piece of fucking awful piss i have ever had the misfortune to listen to. Imagine the poetry of Nancy Millstone Jennings (Prizes for guessing who that is) and then just add to music. This album is so fucking bad, i feel like retching uncontrollably even just thinking about it.

Put it another way, you know i love you, right? Well, i'd rather kill you than have to listen to this ever again. You want an example? Ok, click on the sample from that first track (On the link. Halfway down the page. Choose yer music player of choice. All that shit. Have you done it yet?) Lyrics:

"You ungrateful bitch
I'm gonna throw you in a ditch."

Some people would kill for good lyrics in a song. In this case, i think several people WERE killed in the attempt. Just because their brains couldn't tolerate living in the same world as this execrable self-indulgent hippo shite. (um, "hippo shite?")

And then:

"He grabbed me, he jabbed me, he stabbed me".

What is this!?!? What?!?! Has she been subtly impressed by "Stop The Pigeon" that legendary vessel of cartoon Dastardly and Muttley-ness?

After that of course, the tracks become unremittingly worse and worse.

Recently it was reported that Mark Chapman was refused parole. Personally, i think this is a heinous crime. Surely he should be allowed the chance to finish off what he started. Y'know. One final atonment. Imean, come on, she's done her bit for music, we can't allow her recent works to erode all that good (yet brief) moment of beauty now, can we?

... Oh, it's a cruel world...

(PS: Any other nominees for awful awful records?)


  12:33 pm :. Blogger Princess Potty Mouth hollered thusly:

ack and grr I say to snow... while it does look loverly I do so hate the rather friged cold that comes with it... Imean I live in canada... and it gets very very cold out there some days

  1:53 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Ah, i am very lucky to live here in the U.K.... or i was... our winters were cold, but never so cold as those in Canada or many other places around the world.

Unfortunately, with global warming, there has come warmer and even milder temperatures, so that Winter storms may one day be but a distant memory save in the furthest reaches of Scotland...

I don't know whether you should be envied your seasonal beauties, or pitied for the hardships they bring.

with love

  2:05 pm :. Blogger Darkchild hollered thusly:

Is it already snowing there??? O.o
Lucky you!! Snow is pretty.
(As long as you don't have to go to school on a bike...)
We only have rain and hail here at this moment...And lot's more rain...

About the nominee's for awful lyrics I would nominee a piece of Hardcore (the music style, not a bandname)Unfortunately, my brother always listen to hardcore... :'(
I forgot the band who made it, and how it is named, but I do know that the lyrics totally suck!!

"Start war, coz this is hardcore. It's never seen before. Army of hardcore. Hardcore!!!"

Yeagh!!!! That something like that exists!!! And that's only one example. I heard one a while back and that seems to have only one line: "Die you motherfuckers!!!"
And I'm like: Did they loose their intelligence after listening to too much of that crap...


  3:31 am :. Blogger B hollered thusly:

oh, lovely snow.
my first trip to england was for new year's eve 2001 and it had just recently snowed. as i flew over the coast into london gatwick, everything was white. when i stepped outside the airport to get the gatwick express to victoria station, it was sooo cold. i don't think i had ever been so cold in my life.
the snow along the streets was black, london is so dirty. being from alabama and not having much experience walking on snowy and icy patches, i held on tight to my friend's arm has he took me around london to his favorite places.
jetlagged, i don't remember much of that trip, but i've been back to england every year since. i fly into london, then catch a train to my destination. that one day of my first trip over is all that i have experienced of london.
i've had my first real experiences with snowy winters since i've moved from alabama to northern middle tennessee. think we are gonna get a lot of snow here this year. i look forward to it. i love it when everything stops and is beautifully silent.

  3:37 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Yeah, the silence. That and the purity of the whiteness of fresh snow on a Winters morning. At such times i could almost believe in a God.

  3:10 pm :. Blogger Cece hollered thusly:

That conjured the most beautiful picture in my mind. That is...you in the snow. Not those shitty lyrics. There is no snow in South Texas. But I remember my childhood in Minnesota. Children and snow. Thank God I grew up in a snowy place. I'll never forget it.

  8:26 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

What? But those lyrics are great! Sung by a chanteuse of such magnitude that we are not even worthy to prostrate ourselves before her bodily excretions...

ok, i was joking about that last bit. Mebbe yer have to hear the song to appreciate that even a vile artist can produce some moments of beauty, no?

Post a Comment

17.11.04 | ...Meanwhile, On The Other Side Of The Floorboards...(The Spiders Stratagem Re-mix)

"Ahreet, Lads!"

"Bloody 'ell! It's Dave!"

"Ahrreet Our Dave! Wheer the buggerin' 'ell 'ave you bin? We haven't seen yer for bloody months"

"Bollocks! Ah got tossed out onter 't street, didn't I?"

"Bollocks! How'd that 'appen?"

"Aye, ye' gowan tell us abaht it, arn't'cha?"

"Well get us a pint o' fly-juice, an' i'll tell yer all abaht it..."

Several pints o' fly juice later...

"... so ah'd bin wandering occasionally inter 't twofoot territory, cos o' rich pickings in their caves. Aye, i know what you under-dwellers are thinkin' "He must be barmy, to be strayin' inter dangerous territory like that. Aye an' i remember all th' stories our mams'd tell us abaht 'ow dangerous them giants are.

"But i tell yer, they're bloody blind! (Or are most o' the time) On account of their eyes being so far off the ground".

"Ye've seen their eyes?! Bugger! Bollocks! Few live to tell the tale of staring into a two-foots eyes. What'd they look like?"

"As big as me or you, that's how big. They were so big i could see me entire reflection in ther blackness. Aye!"

"Bollocky-buggery! You must've bin close!"

"Aye i was. I. Was. Face. To. Face. Wi' it... but ahm gettin' ahead o' meself...

"As i was saying... i was settling in nicely. Life was easy. The pickings were more rich and succulent than i could ever manage in a lifetime. If it weren't the twofoots dropped morsels i were feastin' off, it were the other insects that were also drawn to such feasts. Life were good.

"An' then i got careless didn't i? Got a bit adventurous, an' thought i'd check out some of the upper caverns for somewhere to lair up for ther Winter. So ah was wandering across the middle o' floor like a fool, when what should 'appen, but a two-foot walks in. Just my luck, he should spot me..."

"Fooook! Worrappened?"

"Well we just stood there lookin' at each other, like. Ahm ashamed to say, but ah just froze. Well, ah were terrified. What wi' th' noise an' all..."

"What noise? Was it a young female, i hear they make this high pitched screaming, if they spot us. Like it's some kind of alarm thing. I hear ye've gotta move pretty sharpish after that, or yer stamped on, good an' proper!"

"Aye i reckon it musta been one o' them, like yer say. Anyway, after a bit, it stopped shrieking, an' ran off. I shoulda made me exit right then, but me head were still ringing from 't awful wailing.

"Moments later, it came back, i knew from the way it moved towards me, that the game was up. It was either gonna kill me, or worse, catch me! So i ran. I ran like fook! It chased me all around that cave, this way an' that, makin' a dreadful hollerin' racket, breaking things, until i finally found a hole to escape into. It was then i literally came face to face wi' it...

"It crouched down onto it's feelers an' peered in at me. I tell you i've never bin so scared. It had hairs on it's 'ead as thick as me legs. Not just a few, but thousands 'an thousands. It had breath like a dead maggot. An' other smells equally disgustng, just seemed to ooze off it. An' all over it's skin, thousands an' thousands of tiny tiny creatures crawled an' crawled, eating the dead flesh that flaked away from it in a never-ending stream. It didn't even pay a bit of attention to them, neither. Ah tell yer, ah neerly vommed me last fly!"

"Coo! Lumme!"

"Bollocks you say! Then wot 'appened?"

"Well it just pissed off, didn' it? Dunno why. but it jus' lost interest. Me i nearly shat mesel'. I was soo terrified, i daren't hardly move from me hidey-hole for weeks. I'd see it from time to time when i peeked out. Once it even waved it's feeler at me. It almost seemed friendly.

"After a while, i thought "Sod this for a lark, i'm outta here. I was gettin' bloody hungry, yer know. So one mornin' i plotted me escape route while it was asleep, an' scarpered.

"Everything was goin' fine. I'd got outta the twofoots sleeping cavern, an' was just startin' ter climb dahn to the lower caverns. Then this other twofoot saw me. Before yer knew it, it'd grabbed me in it's feelers, an' dumped me out onto the outside. It was pissin' dahn aht there, too.

"Took me months to get back inside to the under-caves. But eventually i did, today. An' that's how i'm standing 'ere before yer. Waitin' fer yer ta get another round o' fly-juice in..."

"Oh, reyt..."

"An' gerrem to put a fookin' umbrella in it this time! th' fookin' cheapskates."

And there we leave our denizens of the underworld, dear reader. But who would've thought they had such heavy accents? Not me, that's for sure...


  2:20 pm :. Blogger Tam hollered thusly:

It is a fairly heavy brogue, imnigrints perhaps?

  3:29 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Northern speak actually.

Sounds a bit like this: http://www.rathergood.com/val_halal/

Actually, i think i'll include that in the post...

  3:31 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

Bostin', as apparently we say round my way.

  3:48 pm :. Blogger Cece hollered thusly:

You're spiders are way cooler than our Mexican cockroaches. Those are some cocky bastards.

  3:50 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Eeee! I truly hate hate hate cockroaches! Horrrid horrid narsty things!


  10:02 pm :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

i've heard that nyc rats are planning to take over the city someday - they very well may succeed! ;)

  1:31 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Rats, eh? Rats are fookin' well smart. Quite friendly too, in the right circumstances...

Also fookin' deadly! I know of one case where a single rat caused a huge bother on a nearby street, fought with two cats. Result: Two very poorly cats with rat bite infection. Then it took on a bloody big dog. Result: Poorly rat bitten doggie. THEN it took on a human with a big twattin' shovel. Result: One dead rat, and also one human with tip of thumb missing. And probably poorly, like the rest of the poor animals on the street...

Never get too close to a cornered rat", should be a motto everywhere.

  4:39 am :. Blogger Jessie hollered thusly:

I don't mind spiders but I declare everlasing war on cockroaches. They're sinister, they are.

  2:07 am :. Blogger my sun sets to rise again hollered thusly:

Thats quite a story Dave had.

But I still have no sympathy for him.

Post a Comment

16.11.04 | The Spiders Stratagem

So there i was, minding my own business, pottering around the house, trying to keep it tidy and such. When walking into my bedroom, i was confronted by the hugest spider i have ever seen (In England). It must've been all of three feet* across and with fangs the size of paring knives**.

We stood (Or crouched in the spiders case) eyeing each other up with alarm. Hardly daring even to breathe.

"Bugger", i thought. "How'm i gonna get that out?"

(No, of course it never crossed my mind to attempt to slay it. This is a spidder friendly household, i'll have you know.)

So i retreated to the kitchen in search of a glass large enough to catch it in. Although with the size of that brute i was almost certainly gonna need a bucket at least.***

After a swift search i returned with the appropriate catching device, plus a full suit of kevlar body armour in case things went wrong, plus stun grenades, rapier (for duelling with the fangs), and pepper spray, in case it tried to mug me. Time being of the essence i had no time to find the harpoon gun from the garden shed...

There then ensued a frantic struggle all around the bedroom. Me, intent on subduing the fearsome brute, and he (I say "he" from complete lack of spiddery knowledge) intent on evading me with equal determination. Oh, the shennanigans! It was like one of those 3 Musketeers films starring Michael Yorke with Roy Kinnear as his trusty sidekick (C'mon, you've surely seen them?! Don't tell me you were born in the eighties?!?)

Anyway, the spidder won. Despite my fancy foot-trickery, the likes of which would have impressed ballerinas the world over with it's sheer ineptness. Despite my heavy artillery. Despite my constant commands of "Freeze Mothafucka!" in my best NYPD Blue accent. Yes, despite all this, the spidder escaped into a hole between a chest of fitted drawers and the wall. Very thoughtfully provided by builders of yesteryear. Bah!

And there he stayed. In fact i rather think i must have frightened him enormously, because for weeks afterwards, he refused to venture more than a few inches from his haven.

I began to feel sorry for Dave. Yes, i've christened him Dave. It's a good name. And in time i adopted him as a spider refugee of sorts. And, in time, he began to feel more venturesome and take little walks around the room. Sometimes, when sitting at my computer, i would catch sight of him peering out at me from his hideyhole home. I would even wave.

It didn't last however, for one day, he strayed too far, and into the path of my mother, who immediately captured and evicted him out into the cold streets, with far more efficiency than i ever could muster. She wasn't even wearing body armour!

*Three inches
** Very very very small paring knives.
*** Lies, all lies. Fabricated to make me look heroic in the eyes of damsels everywhere.

Which brings me to the pics below. One of the first requests i had for photos, was from Tam, via IMS, who desired for pics of an insect. Yeah, sure, at this time of year, the only way i was gonna come up with something like that was to go on holiday to Bug City. So i... improvised....

This one's for you Tam!

Spider In The Bath! Heeelp!

Oh, It's only Ophelia

Hey, Ophelia, looking gooood.

Sooo cute!


  6:09 pm :. Blogger Cece hollered thusly:


  6:33 pm :. Blogger my sun sets to rise again hollered thusly:

You have a true heart.

I would have exterminated it with extreme prejudice. Cause, otherwise they might go up my pant leg (possible) or in my bed (its happened to my mum :( ).

We've come to an understanding the spiders and me..

  7:50 pm :. Blogger Darkchild hollered thusly:


Ohoh, reminds me of the spy I have in my room...
I know it's there, when I turn around I can feel all it's eye's on my back, watching everything I do. But I never see a glimpse of it...
So unfair.


  8:46 pm :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

Spidey pets eh? I had a spidey pet once, called him Elvis. He used to lurk on the wall next to my bed just above my chocolate finger tin (secret stash from my housemates). One morning I woke up to find Elvis no longer sitting on the wall. I found him plastered to my bedsheet. I'd flattened him in the night.

Alas poor Elvis.

  9:11 pm :. Blogger Dani hollered thusly:

Oh, I love spiders! OUTside, anyway. I really like the large ones that look really creepy and move very fast. Hmm. I have some pics to post now...

  12:43 am :. Blogger Princess Potty Mouth hollered thusly:

Inanimate spiders = way cool
Ones that are real... freak me out.... hence the one time i cried in a corner until my dads girlfriends kids got rid of it... yes I was 19 and cried in the corner like a little girl... I really hate them

  4:37 am :. Blogger Tam hollered thusly:

I totally don't get arachnophobia. Spiders are awesome, much like Ophelia. Although I'd have to point out that she's clearly had some nip 'n tuck work done over the summer.

  1:21 pm :. Blogger The Prisoner hollered thusly:

once there was a spider on my wall right behind my head, i turned around and there it was, not moving
and it was this big...
form here.........................................to here

i swear!

  1:59 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

quite small, then.


I quite like spidders, although looking at the one's on Dani's site might persuade me to change my mind...

Awesome pics, Dani!

  3:30 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

Use the hoover. Its the only way.

But don't cross the streams...

Post a Comment

11.11.04 | Oh Look! More Fucking Clouds, Everyone.

Bleaching The Bastard Colours From An Autumn Sunset

This is The View from The Saturnyne's bedroom window. It looks like this every day. All the clouds in my village are laughingly paid a pittance to hover in exactly the same place all year round. And the money we save from these immigrant sweatshop type clouds (Probably from the Far East, hooking a ride on an overcrowded boat full of other weathers from distant lands), goes towards paying off the Sun to also hover around the horizon looking pretty. And the pub.


  7:44 am :. Blogger Princess Potty Mouth hollered thusly:

T'is Loverly I must admit... I wish my clouds looked like that... at least you see the sun a bit... although in the past few months I have grown accuston to the dark again... oh how I love the night... but still I havent seen moon or stars here in quite some time due to all the rain and effing snow... May I make a new request... I woudl love to see a picture of the moon...

As for those skeething little mutant creatures... I send coffee cake... and guh-faws at them... I am sure my own magical powers are nothing compared to theirs and I woudl go down in a fiery battle of magic and shyte... hehehe love and tender hugs and coffee cake and free beer.. yes that shoudl do it... get them drunk and full then beat them all up... MUHAHAHAHAHAHA

  11:27 am :. Blogger The Prisoner hollered thusly:

i have returned with a new look blog, sorry i haven't commetned in a while so here goes...

nice clouds saturnyne!

take a photo of a hobo, preferably drunken and/or raving :S

  2:41 pm :. Blogger Tam hollered thusly:

Any particular reason why the font in this post is set at a Bifocaled Pensioner giganto size?

  3:04 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Yeah Amanda, that might do the trick. Heehee!

'ello Prisoner mate! You're back! i was looking around yer blog last week, but couldn't find anywhere to comment. Will return there again in the next coupla days. Good to see yer again.

  3:16 pm :. Blogger Dani hollered thusly:

I like clouds... they hide all the world's ugliness in the shadows. The sunlight makes you face them. Send some of those clouds to NY, please! ;-)

  6:48 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

didn't see yer coment there, last time, Tam. Yeah, i was using a Times font, 'cause i got bored with the usual one. But it looked too small. Hence the bigness. Bearing in mind peoples previous coments about white txt on black, i thought it would be easier to read...
If it looks silly, i'll change it back.

Thanks for the comment Dani. I liked that. It was almost poetic, and i empathized hugely with it.

(why does that last sentence seem really pervy to me? Arghh!)

  7:20 pm :. Blogger Jessie hollered thusly:

Haha, jumping on the cloud bandwagon! As you should. If that's your cloud-view all year round, Harle Syke must be a pretty nice place.

  1:14 am :. Blogger Jane hollered thusly:

beautiful- i wish that was outside my window.... my clouds just scurry by busy like the rest of us

  4:04 pm :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

i'm swept away by the view from your bedroom window. nice.

  5:33 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

What's really amusing to me, is that if i was to point my camera down a little and include more scenery on the ground, everyone'd be saying "Eurgh! Fuckin' 'orrible view, that!"

Ruin the Saturnyne Mystique, it would.

  6:44 pm :. Blogger Dani hollered thusly:

Haha.. you're right about that. I'd much rather see the sky than anything human-made. Except boats. Boats are cool. There's something for you to shoot -- a harbor with lots of fishing boats and clouds in the background. Nevermind, I'll do it myself. ;)

  7:57 pm :. Blogger Darkchild hollered thusly:

Awww, thank you a lot!!!!
O.o Oh my god, I didn't even see you posted something for me!!! How could I???
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it ^-^

Hey, does it really looks like that out of your window?
Pretty picture!!! I like black and white pictures a lot.


  4:04 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Yeah, it really does. On about 5 days of the year... the rest of the time it's raining and grey
But as i was saying... point that camera down a few degrees an' suddenly it don't look so pretty from my window...

Although, beauty is still there. If ya know where to look...

  2:48 am :. Blogger B hollered thusly:

that view is beautiful! when i see those clouds in your pic, i can imagine a steady breeze, comforting and soothing. it reminds me of why i love and miss england- waking to open the window of an upstairs room to see the many crowded nearby rooftops with an enchanting sky hovering just above. i've got to get back there soon!

  3:30 pm :. Blogger Cece hollered thusly:

Yes, but were you wearing a KIMONO when you took this picture?!

  3:40 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

no... but i haven't forgotten your express desire to see hot kimono piccies... i'm not saying i'm gonna do anything about that, but i haven't forgotten... heh.

  6:10 pm :. Blogger Cece hollered thusly:


Post a Comment

9.11.04 | Whaddya Want Me To Shoot?

Jumping on the bandwagon of a million other peoples once again...

I, The Saturnyne, have the cameras.

You, the Not-The Saturnyne, can have the ideas.

So, my darlings, what three things would ya like to see a photo of? Taken with my cunning hand and eye, of course. No request too tawdry or outrageous! Everything will be considered! Step right up and make your bid...

Let's see where it takes us.



  12:20 pm :. Blogger Zen hollered thusly:

I would like to see some pictures of myself in fishnet and leather doing some really freaky nasty acts...but since I live a zillion miles from you, that would probably not be practical :p

  12:30 pm :. Blogger SingleFin hollered thusly:

Ah-ha! What would make my day is a picture of the most vicious sock puppet you can find, and pictures of Saturnynes-eye-view of a pub door on the way in, and on the way out. And, if you have both the time and the inclination, a replica X-wing made from Rizlas. (Silver king size for preference)

That'll do me :)

  2:19 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Zen: Eeeek!

Singlefin: An excuse for going dahn the pub. Yippee! Sock puppets? Gawd!- Y'mean i've actualy got to put some creative effort into this? Bah!

  3:56 pm :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

Why, more self-portraits of the lovely Saturnyne of course! Include a few nature shots in the background, indie disco nights, and some outfits I've been known to wear...(heeheee)...

Ooooh and i'd also like to see the local scenery in your parts of the hood perhaps?? Curiousity is brimming.

  5:28 pm :. Blogger Princess Potty Mouth hollered thusly:

Gargoyles, faries, and Unicorns.... or instead of unicorns... something like a Succubus or an Incubus.... MMMMM rape ... lol

  7:57 pm :. Blogger Darkchild hollered thusly:

I wanna see a picture of....nothingness ^-^

Yeah, I know I should change the color...but I don't know how!!!


  8:12 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

An' my next post will be entitled "Questions i've most regretted asking ever!"

I would have to say, Amanda, that i asked around all the mythical creatures i know, told them your request. And they laughed at me, the demon-types even threw beermats (They like hangin' round my local pub, y'see). In fact, the only one who didn't laugh was the unicorn, an' that's because he was off in some forest glade gallivanting with some virgin nuns...

um, "nothingness"... doesn't give me much room to manoeuvre on the visual front, does it, D.C.? However. I'll see what i can do using my own interpretation...

  11:01 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

I'd like to see a pet in mental turmoil. Nothing too disturbing, mind.

  12:20 am :. Blogger Princess Potty Mouth hollered thusly:

Oh so you wanted something far more tangable... um k then.... lets see... I like the idea of nothingness... but if you couls take a picture of "clear"... Yeas "clear" that would be neato and I would give you huge props for pulling it off...

um... or maybe a pretty little fem bod... you see the female body is a loverly thing... but if not and worse comes to worse the most beautiful pictures are usually that of nature... I remember taking a photography class in high school and my fav pictures were that of eggs (black and white project) and the one I took of a flower growing near and around a soda can... I though it was eligant and depicted nature at its strongest... hmmm but you can always do what you think woudl look loverly....

mind you... those silly creatures shoudl not have laughed at my rather awesome request... but not to worry I am not hurt or crushed.... I amy have to hunt them down now for sport though... jk

  4:01 am :. Blogger B hollered thusly:

i have to agree that i would most like to see some snapshots of your hometown. also, i'd love to see a packet of bacon crisps on an old wood pub table- next to a lovely pint ofcourse. mmm, that would bring back some really nice, warm (altho it was cold there) feelings of england for me.

  12:51 pm :. Blogger Tam hollered thusly:

How about... the inside of the Tate Modern? Eh? Ass.

  2:28 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:



Stop reminding me that i haven't been to the goddamn Tate Modern, an' just tell me that you want pics of fornicating eclairs/ stabbed eclairs/ giant insects with wings (Totally impossible to find a live one at this time of year, i'll have you know) and something embarrassing from my childhood!

Ya won't let me forget this, willya? I'ts gonna be a vendetta for the rest of time itself! Ye'll be contacting me through seances to say "Haven't visited the Tate Modern, have you? Ass!"

  2:59 pm :. Blogger Cece hollered thusly:

Okay here it goes.
1. Full body pic of you in your favorite kimono. Becuz you are presumably often lounging in a kimono.
2. Pic of Pumpkin sitting in front of your home. Cuz I like to see Pumpkin and where you two hang out.
3. Pic of your favorite room of your home. So I can imagine you and where you are most comfortable.
4. Pic of the computer you blog at. So I can picture you blogging away.
5. Pic of your hands. What do those hands look like?
6. Pic of your bed. Where does The Saturnyne sleep? Interesting...
Take your pick! or pic.

  12:41 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

And why o why has no-one asked for a pic of the view from my bedroom window? Eh? Something nice and easy?

Damn! Still, i shall rise to the challenge(s) set and see how many pics i can provide you all with over the next few weeks leading up to Christmas.

All images shall be artistically licensed, of course, so you might not get exactly the thing you were asking for, but my own interpretation of...

What there won't be though, is:
1. Pumpkin: I don't think she'd appreciate her picture on the web... unless i can somehow disguise her. It's an agreement i have with her. but i can ask, i suppose.
2. Tate Modern. NO Tate moderns. Ever. *sticks tongue out at Tam*
3. Mythical creatures. Hard to take pics of. They move around too much. PS. Amanda, they say "Come and have a go if yer think yer 'ard enough". The cheeky little darlings!
4. I can't remember what four is, but we'll have none of it!- Whatever it is...

  1:11 am :. Blogger boldface hollered thusly:

You live in a village eh? How about a picture of the village green? Or any common ground that's local, really.

Failing that, a picture of a well, with a pump or a bucket, and a person standing nearby. How about a picture of that?

Thank you in advance...

  5:00 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Hiya Boldface.

Hmm, it's not perhaps the kind of village green you might envisage. But a picture of a similar place is certainly going to be placed on this blog at a point in the (hopefully) near future. So i can, most happily grant yer request. It kinda ties in with some of the other requests too. So that's good all round.

Harle Syke now is almost a suburb of the (very) nearby town of Burnley. It grew from a few farmhouses, a church and perhaps an inn, into a village with several rows of terraces and perhaps half a dozen cotton-mills, built to support a burgeoning cotton-weaving industry. The cotton has long since left those mills, to be replaced by call-centres and other modern businesses. Although there is now a museum to remind us of our glorious and thriving past...

Never been any wells here for as long as i've lived though.


Post a Comment

7.11.04 | Flux and Mutability: The Saturnyne Remembers Mr Shelley To Your Affections; And Casts Light On The Praiseworthy Mr Sylvian

...and so we turn away from the dashed hopes of America and the World, the loss of that nice Mr Peel who showed us so much music, Mr Wood, who made being a child in the U.K. that little bit more magical, and Fred Dibnah, Steeplejack of renown, who also popped his clogs this week... and we await with sorrow, the imminent news of Mr Arafats passing and inevitable disrespectful treatment by Israel of his last wishes. (And c'mon Israel, time to give that land back, ye'll have no more excuses once he's gone.)

Death and loss, are part of life. We shoulder our burdens and struggle on. Time heals many wounds as our memories of loved ones grow more distant. And at times the memory of what we have lost returns unbidden like a blow to the chest and we weep. Yet this will happen less frequently as time hurries us on...

And so The Saturnyne today says "Rejoice! For are we not yet still alive? Do we not still breathe? If we can grieve, then we can also laugh with joy at the pure selflessness of being alive! In a world that lives too! See that tree reaching for the sky? Feel that lively breeze caressing your face? Marvel at a spiders web! Or a childs innocent laughter! Or a bird in flight! Breathe in! Grin! For The Saturnyne loves you unconditionally, and is grinning also.

The Sun burns yet brightly, and the moon and stars tread their ancient paths.
And now we have hope. For we have never truly lost it.

And with that in mind I give you two poems by the revered Mr Percy Bysshe Shelley. both called Mutability. Both beautiful. It's the second one that we shall embrace most fully today, though...


The flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow dies;
All that we wish to stay
Tempts and then flies.
What is this world's delight?
Lightning that mocks the night,
Brief even as bright.

Virtue, how frail it is!
Friendship how rare!
Love, how it sells poor bliss
For proud despair!
But we, though soon they fall,
Survive their joy, and all
Which ours we call.

Whilst skies are blue and bright,
Whilst flowers are gay,
Whilst eyes that change ere night
Make glad the day;
Whilst yet the calm hours creep,
Dream thou - and from thy sleep
Then wake to weep.

Mutability (no. 2)

We are as clouds that veil the midnight moon;
How restlessly they speed, and gleam, and quiver,
Streaking the darkness radiantly! -yet soon
Night closes round, and they are lost for ever:

Or like forgotten lyres, whose dissonant strings
Give various response to each varying blast,
To whose frail frame no second motion brings
One mood or modulation like the last.

We rest.—A dream has power to poison sleep;
We rise.—One wandering thought pollutes the day;
We feel, conceive or reason, laugh or weep;
Embrace fond woe, or cast our cares away:

It is the same!—For, be it joy or sorrow,
The path of its departure still is free:
Man's yesterday may ne'er be like his morrow;
Nought may endure but Mutablilty.

And i think i shall dedicate this second one to Darkchild over in The Netherlands, in the hope that she finds something good for herself in it's words. And if any of you feel like dropping by her place, be sure to say "Hi" and tell her what a fabulous person she is.

If at all possible you should also find a copy of Flux And Mutability by the enigmatic ex-lead singer of Japan, David Sylvian to increase your pleasure of that second poem. Side two of this moody instrumental album goes so perfectly with it, that you may find yourself weeping tears of rapture. Sadness and joy all jumbled together in your head in a true moment of profoundness. Or something like that. From talking to some of you and reading others blogs and profiles, i'm convinced that at least half a dozen of you will love it.

The rest of you i will have to prod with pointy sticks until you do. Ha-yeh! Looking forward to that:
*prod prod*
"Get a move on- you there at the back! The World won't wait forever, you know!"

Hugs all round.
Cake too, probably.

I know, i know, Janey. There needs to be more bollocks in this post. But i was feeling all lovey today... so i just had tae post this instead.


  5:58 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Yes Lizzy, that was a Sandman quote in there...


  10:53 am :. Blogger Zen hollered thusly:

Thankyou for posting the poems...they are lovely. I have been involved in a kind of doomed relationship...the kind where you never wonder if it will end, only when. I was trying to figure out how to wrap my head around it so as to not ruin it completely...after all, I have nothing better to do with my time than take part in tragic romances ;) The answer is in these poems...nothing is really of permanance, so I guess it's best to just "make glad the day whilst yet the calm hours creep" and worry about the weeping once I awake.

  3:59 pm :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

Happy *Hugs* for making this a brighter and warmer a.m. in New York!!

  11:00 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

... and "mutability" - one of my favourite words ever. Sweet bliss.

Post a Comment

5.11.04 | A Humble and Hopefully Humorous Post To Cheer Up 50% Of America (And 98% of the apparently insignificant Rest-of-the-Planet)

Friends, in these troubled times, as we stand and gape in amazement at the re-election of the New Emperor, i've scoured the Web for things to cheer us all up.

PS: if ya did vote for Emperor George, it would be unkind of me not to say "Turn away! Turn-a-fuckin'-wayyyy!!! Nowww!!! Avert thine eyes, lest thou be repunged by the Unholy Blasphemies!!!"
PPS: OR ya could stay and whine and give me someone to take the piss out of. Sure i'd feel bad about that. It'd be like drowning helpless kittens. But, as Father George would say, "It's my divine duty. God told me to".

But first things first: I know it's late, but here's Cactus At Halloween. (I think this is episode four in the jolly swearing Cactus series).

Also, i know it's a bit early for Easter, but fuck it!- Here's some egg frenzy! (Bollocks! This link might be down at the moment. but it was brilliant, i assure you).

More um, "egg frenzy!" This time from Weebl and Bob. And it's got another new episode right after! Surely they must be getting onto their hundredth episode by now?

And now: Some Daliesque political humour. Honest.
Bush: Weebl and Bob comment!!

Bah! Well i was gonna post a nice pic of Mr Kerry sending The Emperor some Inauguration Pretzels, but apparently Blogbot doesn't like anything that's not a jpeg. And try as i might, this arsy image editing prog that isn't made by Adobe just won't convert it properly. Bastard thing. So here' a pic of The Emperor by that nice cartoonist, Mr Bell over at The Guardian Website.

New Emperor Monument! To be constructed in Washington.
Love and big mwah's to ya all.
PS: It is possible one of my near futureposts may be somewhat more political in it's wordiness. I haven't decided yet. But if politics ain't your bag, i'll let ya know in good time so ya can ignore it. Heaven knows, i'd hate to be boring...
Addendum To The PS: NAh, yer safe for now, the delectable Janey asked me to write something, but i wasn't sure if she meant political or bollocks. So i asked her for clarification.

"Bollocks, please", she replied.

Obviously a girl who knows my strengths. And weaknesss. Phew! More bollocks it is, then...


  3:02 pm :. Blogger Cece hollered thusly:

Eek! I just realized that I am the Fabulous Family Angel! WOW! Thank you for that. If you weren't on another continent, I would totally hunt you down and SMOOCH you! If I ever figure out how to put a blogroll on my site...or better yet...get Roy to do it for me...YOU'LL BE THERE! (dabbing tears) YOU ARE MY FAVORITE HARLE SYKER!

  5:11 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

Ahh, thank you. You have cheered this small component of the 98%...

  2:02 am :. Blogger Tam hollered thusly:

Well I'm glad the political foray has been stopped for the time being. There isn't a single political blogger I haven't wanted to grab by the corduroy (sometimes suede) lapels and shake with disgust over their moralistic self importance and wildly convenient generalisations.

Eating, feasting, on ones ass is an integral part of that type of blogging, and while I'm sure you'll do your best to avoid it -- the assly allure is too strong for the likes of man.

  2:49 am :. Blogger B hollered thusly:

oodle doodle, eggs are the best!
i loved your humorous links. i had a seriously good laugh, and it was much needed after the disappointment of our election.
thanks so much for putting this huge smile on my face. wish you could see it, this smile is really big!
can't wait to see some cloud pics from you. PUT 'EM UP!

  4:08 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Weird. i coulda sworn i'd posted a comm. here. Mebbe it's a blogger fault.

Ah well, i do so again.

Hey, yer welcome, B! My pleasure. My honour.

Aye, Tam, i couldn't agree more (As usual). I have realized today (but will verr likely forget tomorrow) that my best politick voice is one of sardonic amusement, with raised eyebrow. And wicked sarcasm for those who deserve it.

But also, and especially, polite patronizing. That really enrages 'em! it's all to the best really... for their own good. *grins evilly*

Mwah's all round, then.

  11:15 am :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

: )

And a good sat morning to you too! I can even spell BOLLOCKS this morning!

  11:12 pm :. Blogger Aberrant Templar hollered thusly:


I stumbled across your blog by accident. As a member of the previously mentioned 50% of America, I thank you for cheering me up.
I hope we don't invade your country.
Stupid Bush....


  12:40 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Yer welcome, Jason. My pleasure. And the next elections to be embarrassed about will our very own U.K. one's. Because although the majority of our country dislikes Tony B, and wouldn't trust him as far as they could throw him, the alternatives are pretty awful, too. So he'll probably get back in, as well. Oh The Shame!

The most i can do in these situations is to give people something to laugh about and cheer us all up. Meself included.

Take care, and drop by anytime.

Post a Comment