7.7.08 | How God Works (ver 1.0)
I had a dream and you were falling apart inside your head, and there was nothing i could do to stop that.
Nor could i stop you from climbing a tall building and casting yourself from it in a desperate escape attempt from all the troubles you were suffering.
I watched you fall in slow motion and cradled your shattered broken body in my trembling arms. You were gone. Gone forever.
And my mind was wracked with anguish like i had never known before. Like a wet cloth twisted and wrung and torn. That's how my mind felt at your loss.
8:22 am: I awake with tears streaming down my face, as the true meaning of what my life will be like without you or yours without me hits with savage relentless cruelty.
I cannot save you from a life without me. And i do not know how to live a life without you. I am crushed beneath this weight and bereft of hope.
8:24 am My mobile phone pings. A text? At this time of the morning? No-one ever sends me a text in the mornings. They know i'll be asleep.
It's from you. The message reads thus:
Nor could i stop you from climbing a tall building and casting yourself from it in a desperate escape attempt from all the troubles you were suffering.
I watched you fall in slow motion and cradled your shattered broken body in my trembling arms. You were gone. Gone forever.
And my mind was wracked with anguish like i had never known before. Like a wet cloth twisted and wrung and torn. That's how my mind felt at your loss.
8:22 am: I awake with tears streaming down my face, as the true meaning of what my life will be like without you or yours without me hits with savage relentless cruelty.
I cannot save you from a life without me. And i do not know how to live a life without you. I am crushed beneath this weight and bereft of hope.
8:24 am My mobile phone pings. A text? At this time of the morning? No-one ever sends me a text in the mornings. They know i'll be asleep.
It's from you. The message reads thus:
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read".
-Marx, Groucho
.
I lift my head back and laugh at the double joke. And at that point i know. I know. I know that someone somewhere is looking out for me. Call them God or whatever, but you are one of His children and He works his subtle deeds through you. That also, i know.
One may still shine light into the darkest of places. Possibly not black holes, but hey... nothing in life is perfect. It's going to be a better day. I love you all.
One may still shine light into the darkest of places. Possibly not black holes, but hey... nothing in life is perfect. It's going to be a better day. I love you all.
S.
4 comments :.
Love the Marx quote (Groucho not Karl). I struggle a little with this post, but not because it isn't wonderful - it is! Truth be told, perhaps one of my faves. I just don't have that belief in anyone nor do they have that belief in me. If I have it, I should get my head checked (it was sort of there once) and if it is had for me, I've done a terribly crafty job of fooling them into thinking I deserve it. So yes, I like it very much if I detach myself. I just can't let myself connect any other way. There would be consequences. And no fun Marx quotes; Groucho or Karl! xo
With a headline like that I was expecting technical drawings and some blueprints. I shall be writing to my MP.
i've had that dream a few times, but at the end of the day, there was nothing above and beyond me. i don't remember feeling empty though. just really, really pissed of. this was a beautiful post, though, and i wish i could have done it justice with a stellar comment.
Have you seen this yet ?
Watchmen Trailer
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