26.3.08 | BE SIGNIFICANT!
Lately, i have been looking through the junk in my gmail folder... in some bemusement. The title of this post was my favourite header of one of the 180 i received today.
Are there really so many gullible desperate men (yup, it must be men) in the world? Blameh!
Here's some of the many emails i have received... links not included unless yr REALLY desperate bloke persons, in which case you can email me for the details and a technique that will really( yes really) increase the size of your (yes yours!) cock (that's right, your cock.) And all for a measly sum of 10,ooo golds!
"Millions of men use this
Here’s how to get an invitation card into her bedroom for a quickie."
Well if everyone else has been there, i'm not sure i want to as well. Damn, that's some stud/slut! (delete where appropriate)
"Re: don't forget this
Forget rocks and jewelry, give her what she REALLY wants – a massive rod and an incredible climax."
No pressure, then. Or could it be something about fishing? fishing can be pretty "exciting" for some people? Certainly, i get excited every time i think about eating fishies, so why not? (Damn, that salmon and rosemary i had in Giorgio's the other week was just awesome! And Sian, if you're reading this, then yes, i haven't forgotten your birthday. Or the meal out. I Been ill)
"I banged her till she bled
Special prices on this incredible medical breakthrough for manhood enlargement."
Yeah! Comes with hammer-attachment! Or why not just shoot the bitch and watch her bleed even more? Or maybe a good old knifing? Zomg! What wording! It's almost like reading a Shakespearian sonnet!
"Blow your load in Linday
Obtain guaranteed, permanent, hassle-free growth with our product."
now this is either something to do with dodgy stock-market betting, or it's more gun crime!!! Obviously.
"FDA approved Mens Enhancement supplement
Don’t disappoint her when she sees how small you are- fix that today."
how did they know?!? How?? I bet it was an ex!- Damn her!!
(on this one also, apparently his "rocking erection smitten her" blameh!)
"Incredible ass shaking
Mandy can’t keep her hands off me, now that I’ve gained more than 2 inches"
Does he/she mean two inches of ass? how much ass do you need for it to be incredible with the shaking? Would Parkinsons Disease help with that? Or hot-wiring it to the mains? Epilepsy development? I'd like to know these things, should i ever want this "incredible ass shaking" thing .
"Subject her to a punishing ride
Imagine taking a home video of her and she has multiple orgasms within just minutes."
When i used to drive i am pretty sure that i achieved this result with every passenger. I still recall, with a "certain" sentimental fondness, the shrieks and tear-stained moans and the moistened seats after the journeys. It must have been pretty intense for them as they used to be clutching tightly to the dashboard and other parts of the interior, knuckles whitening into a rigor-mortis like state and whimpering like small childs. And that was just the guys. Ah, if only i'd known that videoing it would have made me money...
"Get head every night
9 inches of massive manhood will always come in handy."
well... i could live with that. OMG! Wait!!! What if it's ME who has to give the head, dammit?! Waaaaaah!!!!
More as i find them...