14.1.06 | Merry January 23th!!!

Merry Christma- what? We've done that?

Ok, wait! Wait!

Happy New Y-huh? Noo, we've done that one, too?

Er, so did you all have a good Christmas? Get all the prezzies you want, hmm?

Well i fucking didn't!!! Your poor Saturnyne through unfortunate circumstances (Not all his own doing), awoke on Christmas morning to NO fooking presents at all!!! None!!! Nary so much as a sweetie wrapper!!!

Fucking Santa-fucking Clause!

(Yes i got money, but money doesn't count! I wanted things to unwrap! Unwrap i say!)

Santa has totally let me down,...the cunt!!!!!!!!
Look at him! Oi! Santa! You can run, but you can't hide. And shaving that beard off and pretending to get all religious? Pathetic. You could have at least removed the hat, tchah!

And it's still in that stupid red Coca Cola colour! Whatever happened to that nice green colour, eh? Wanker!

So next fookin' Christmas, i'm gonna stake out my little nieces fookin' bedroom with the kind of traps last seen impaling G.I's in trashy Viet-War films! That'll teach the fat beardy over-rated reindeer-molester and child-stalker! Oyes!

However, all will be forgiven, if next year the items listed below are "delivered" to Saturnyne Mansions forthwith and great speed and stuff. Failing that, i will sleep with anyone who will buy me this loveliness. How can you resist?!? How?!?!

1 A pair of these

2: One of

3: And one of

And don't forget to include some fookin' accessories, ok?!?!

The observant and totally hip amongst you will know that this years fashion is black with spirally bits thrown in, creating an avant-garde throwback to the cosmopolitarianism of the metrognomic '60's... or something bollocks like that.

And to finish, i am aware that i have been left several msg's in the post below, all unread as yet, and all of which i will bat my eyelashes cutely upon while i mock/adore with my usual enthusiasm (ie: eyes rolling, and begging Gods forgiveness for past sins and various other carnal acts, pleeease!)

So there.

And no i'm not telling you what i've been doing all this time. Ok, you can have a clue: Nothing.

Mwah's all round!


  4:17 am :. Blogger Jessie hollered thusly:

Hiya Sat. Nice to hear from you %*

  5:50 am :. Blogger De.vile hollered thusly:

Aww poor you. I cant send you any of those, but I cant you wrappers from my presents :D I make sure I get presents in fancy wrapping cuz its afterall skin deep beauty that you end up liking, hein?

  8:18 am :. Blogger dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) hollered thusly:

Feliz Navidad y Feliz Ano Nuevo to you too. Long time no see. So Santa felt that cute stocking all empty...not even a lump of coal which at least could be used for energy (and further polluting the Earth). I'm sure I told Santa to be extra nice to you this year...bastard probably didn't get my text messages...seems like no one does. I told him to send you something especially HOT to unwrap on Christmas (y'know to also help melt any snow).

Hey..i kinda love red...so i would let him keep the red hat ;)
But i really don't like Coca Cola.

I wasn't sure what #3 was at first glance....but y'know...i have a certain fetish for lighthouses too. Don't know why. I'm looking to acquire one of those too. If i do, I promise to share it with you. You can sleep over whenever you want. But you must be willing to take the trash out.

PS i know you really weren't doing "nothing"....Santa isn't the only one with spies :)

  8:22 am :. Blogger dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) hollered thusly:

btw...nice to see that u are alive.

  6:22 pm :. Blogger Teufel hollered thusly:

*gives Sat $10 000 000 wrapped for Xmass, even when Teu doesn't celebtrate it*
Oh, man! You discovered Satan's Claus personality! I knew I wasn't the only one who realized the truth! Good guy!

Oni / KTS

  6:18 am :. Blogger onanymous hollered thusly:

That nautilus speaker thingy is so pretty. I want one too!

  7:15 am :. Anonymous Anonymous hollered thusly:

lovely LampRoom at Llandudno!

  7:20 pm :. Anonymous Janey hollered thusly:

I'm a bit vexed by the comment scamming that's going on at the moment - I tried to delete the last comment supposedly made by me on your last post, and it isn't linked into my account in that I can't delete it. So I'm trying to see if you attach as an other whether you can mimic someone else's id....

  7:22 pm :. Anonymous Janey hollered thusly:

....and the answer is yes. I don't think our id's have been nicked, just some f***wit thinks it's clever to stir up trouble amongst us by leaving their sad little comments and laying a trail of blame.

The trouble is, the recepient can't see this...

Sorry for using your blog as a test S.

  10:44 pm :. Anonymous thelovesick hollered thusly:

i luv your writing ;)

  11:31 am :. Blogger transience hollered thusly:

why, oh, why does the first piccy remind me of dark chocolate?

  5:58 pm :. Anonymous Anonymous hollered thusly:

i hear you are Awesome!! ;)

  9:36 pm :. Blogger helen hollered thusly:

Are you going to disappear for another 6 weeks now?


Anyhow, I was surprised, yet very pleased by the cuntage in this post. Occasional well-placed profanity - it gets me through the day.

  8:14 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

For your late Christmas present I give thee... a snail.

Fulfils all the criteria.

  4:45 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Dear Jessie! nice to hear from you, too!

Wrappings!!!? Oh, ok... beggars can't be choosers... it'd better be incredibly expensive wrapping paper, though... studded with diamonds, or you'll be hearing from my lawyers!

Dr V.
I know! i know! Bloody modern day communications! Bring back pigeons, i say! With little msgs tied to their feet... of course, i'd buy a hawk to et my own back on all the P.O pigeons... Muhahaha!

Mr Teufel
Yeah, and do you know what the anagram of Santa is? Tnasa!- that's what! It's like the anagram of god is Gdo! Makes you think, dunnit?

Onanymous... yup, they're awesome... and yours for a mere £32,000

anonymous: Yes. It is. =} Well spotted.

Yup... evil commentario peeps. Grr-grr to them!

So do i. I'm awesome!

Santa-Popey reminds you of dark chocolate? Ergh! That's a bit twisted, i must say =}

anon 2
Yep, you heard right.

Disappear? Noooo. how could i stay away from my blog when it's surrounded by beautiful women on all sides?

oh, thaaank, you. *rolls eyes*


  5:44 am :. Blogger dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) hollered thusly:

yeah bring back pigeons!!!

  9:31 pm :. Blogger dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) hollered thusly:

or would parrots be better?
a ship of parrots....

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