14.10.05 | Picnics and Orange Things



"Hold your ground! Hold your ground!"

And so it has come to this... our foes stand manifold in unnumbered ranks before us.

"Sons of, er... wherever...(sisters, too!). Never... in the fields of human(ish- ok not very at all) conflict... has so much been owed to so few... so very few..."

I must marshall the troops for one last stand.

"I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me!"

This may well be the end of me. Of us all!

"A day may come, when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of Fellowship, but it is not this day!"

And then who will save the world from this dread menace? Eh? Who?!?!

"An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down!"

I wave my noble sword valiantly in the air defiantly towards the enemy.

"But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you, stand, men of the We- eh?!

drrinnggg- drinnnggg!

"Uh. Hello?"

"What are you doing?"

"Ahh, hello my orange gourd of grandness"

"Never mind that Pumpkin malarky!- What are you doing?"

"Um well..."

"Because from where i'm sitting, it looks like you're standing on top of a fence, waving a penknife around your head over-enthusiastically, and exhorting a pair of rather bemused chaffinches into attacking a field of carrots with you."

"But my precious Pumpy!- Why whatever do yew mean?"

"You know perfectly well what i mean, i'm sure. Anyway, i can see right through your ploys and devious assumed madness. So there.

Ah... unfortunately this is true, gentle reader. Pumpkin can read moi like a book. A very badly written one full of pictures, easy to understand words, and simple plotline.

Oh, and i'm also looking at you through the binoculars you thoughtfully brought along."

Damn! I turn and wave cheerily at her, sitting on the picnic rug, book in hand and binoculars casually noting my every action for future deserved ridicule. She waves ironically back.

"And furthermore, all your wailing and gnashing of teeth is disturbing my reading. So i've been feeding your tuna sarnies to some ants. As a means of revenge and entertainment."

"What?!? Nooooooooooooooooooo!"

"Er right, men-

"I think you'll find they're still chaffinches"

I ignore the telephone with steadfast determination
"- as you were. And you... you... carrots...

I utter the word with obvious disgust and contempt. It's important to show ones superiority at these times

"... don't think this is the end of it! I'll be back! Hahahahahaha!"

Meanwhile, back at the field...

also

Thievery! And Theft!

19 comments :.

  11:13 pm :. Blogger dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) hollered thusly:

Ah...some child's play and a picnic...perfect way to spend the afternoon.

badly written book....hmm, sounds more like a magazine...Playboy magazine...full of pictures, easy to understand words...because, really, anything too complex will not be read. That's if anything is read.

but anyway, next time i know the carrots will meet their doom...muaaaahh!


  5:54 am :. Blogger LiVEwiRe hollered thusly:

Aha! A plot, a plan... some veggies to boot! =) You've really got something going for vegetation in general, don't you...lol. Great fun. Oh and this... i can see right through your ploys and devious assumed madness. Damn. I thought I was covering it so well... oh, you mean that wasn't me?! =)


  5:07 pm :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

Aragorn, in the guise of a chaffinch....!

You breathtaking imagination / reality distortion astounds me once more, dear fellow.

ps...todays word is 'knofi'


  10:48 am :. Blogger The Prisoner hollered thusly:

once more unto the vegatable patch, dear friends of the avian variety.

you sir are a genius

todays word verification - juixxuhh

the sound made by an ejaculating hamster.


  5:02 pm :. Blogger transience hollered thusly:

i got lost between the malarky and the chaffinches. but it's all good. surreal as the saturnyne and i'm trembling.


  3:26 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Dr Vody!
*flirtage*
Playboy? Goodness! But i'm far too sweet and innocent to be thinking of such things. Honest! *flutters eyelashes*

Livey!
Ah you see my vege-love then? *grinnage*

Janey-ey!
*huggage*
Well i don't know about it being Aragorn, but certainly the chaff's were my... er... er... can i get back to you on that one?

Prissy!
*waveage*
Eww! Sexy-Hammage stuff!

Transy!
*mappage* for your way back. Trembling? Sounds a bit rude! THere goes my imagination, again.

Actually everything sounds a bit rude to me today... as it did yesterday, and more than likely will tomorrow...

Love to all, from The Me.
My word is "oddzlm" which seems kind of apt.

S.ox (Was that ok, Dr?


  9:10 am :. Blogger dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) hollered thusly:

S,
i suppose that book could have been a children's book..pics/easy words/simple plot....but my mind has its rude thoughts among my more tamed ones. Will try not to corrupt your mind.
drv.ox(hug/kiss to U)


  3:37 am :. Blogger Cece hollered thusly:

"orange gourd of grandness"

That is the BEST description EVA!
Pumpkin is so lucky she has you to think up cute names for her...


  4:21 am :. Blogger Teufel hollered thusly:

I'm starting to wonder how much free time does the Saturnyne have... or is it that in his dimension time is inherent to the equation of imagination, added to the variant of time in front of the computer?
Oni


  12:11 pm :. Blogger De.vile hollered thusly:

Anything or body on Transiences blog is so damn wierd!


  12:58 pm :. Blogger EveningStar hollered thusly:

Damn those infernal carrots!
..I hope you remembered your helmet..


  10:23 pm :. Blogger dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) hollered thusly:

one word for you..dear S
"autumn"


  9:35 pm :. Blogger malachi trizec hollered thusly:

this has nothing to do with your post, but thanks to reading your profile & my damnable curiosity, i looked up the word "felch" on wikipedia... it's gonna be my word of the week.


  10:19 pm :. Blogger Funky Fresh Freddie hollered thusly:

Why can't I write like this. I hate you. Will you be my friend?

Fred


  10:21 pm :. Blogger Starbuck hollered thusly:

Just a few days to go, and your time is come...


  3:55 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

And todays word is "Ikuja"

Which is the warcry of duelling mice. obviously.

Dr V: I think my mind is already corrupted by looking at your lips. Saucy!(Autumn, yeah, i know i know)

Cece: i'm not sure that Pumpkin would think herself that lucky. hah!

Teufel: Lots. Times more.

De.vile: High praise indeed! And welcome to The Lounge. Feel free to drape yerself around the furniture and watch the duelling mice.

Eveningstar: I sense a pseudonym, heheh! What helmet? Where? You mean i had a helmet? No one ever tells me these things!!!

Malachi Trizec: Might i recommend "Bollocks" even more than "felch". It rolls off the tongue so much better and forcefully. *ahem* In a manner of speaking.

Funky Fresh Fredie: Is that your real face in that picture? If so, it's awesome! Sure i will be your friend! What are the hours? Do i get bribes and stuff?

Starbuck, me old mate! Are we talking "V" here?

S.


  10:17 pm :. Blogger dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) hollered thusly:

my lips...i always thought my secret weapon was something else....


  2:46 am :. Blogger Teufel hollered thusly:

I'm starting to wonder if my dear Tenshi will comment something in here... or if her blogspot was completely substituted by the evil xanga... bwuahahahahaha!!!
Oni


  11:24 am :. Blogger EveningStar hollered thusly:

Erm, yes.. I always thought them handy. But perhaps your head is hard enough as it is already??



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