30.5.05 | ...3... The Little Things That Make A Difference
It was The Saturnynes Birthday recently. Like about three weeks ago. Something like that. Y'want the exact day? No way! You might remember for next year and then i'd be inundated with bloody birthday greetings, and then i'd probably have to come round your house with shiny sharp teeth.
The Saturnyne would not normally be telling you about his birthday, for to him, such things are an anathema. But as time has moved on and the day of doom has passed, it feels safe to mention.
They are a reminder of sorrows that seem endless. (Melodrama Alert! Melodrama Alert!!! )
A breaking of teeth. A tearing of skin. A splintering of bone. A multitude of curses. The body left bloody and broken like a discarded and abused ragdoll by the roadside. An absence of light. A frozen empty violent mind. A glittering frigid star of pain. The bleakest of sounds, harsh and blue, rolling like warclouds shot with deaths lightning (a personal favouite, that one. I nicked it from the Captain Britain comic/graphic novel{Which is rather good, incidentally. Try and get hold of it})... So ok, i'm sure you get the picture now; which is that i'm a right misery guts on my birthdays. Haaaaaaaa!
So that's how it feels/felt. Although not literally obviously. Think of the medical bills!
...but sometimes, someone gives a little light...
Two people this year, in fact. And this post is dedicated to them and to all the people who do the kindest and most generous things... things that can make your days feel blessed and full of shiny, shininess. And sometimes you don't even realize that they're doing them. Which is a great shame, i think.
There is a Jewish legend i have heard of, that the world rests upon the backs of 36 Tzaddikim, secret saints of selflessness and generosity and goodness. I think about this on occasion.
Talking to the malevolently radiant Tam on Yahoo, who somehow manages to both tolerate my whininess and apppalling sense of humour without wanting to punch me at least some of the time, i inadvertently let slip mid-whineage that it was my birthday. And Tam, being the secretly generous personnage that she is, went and took me a pic of some cake that she had lying around the house. She even stuck a candle in the top for me, too! Lit! I was suitably impressed. I grinned all day afterwards.
"Cake Goodness" by Tam
Not literally mind, cause grinning ALL day would just look disturbing and probably make my face ache.
Later that day, my Pumpkin came to stay. And amongst my prezzies, she gave me this:
I christened him Elvis! Cos he rocks! No-one else in the entire universe gives me cute prezzies like this!
Pumpkin also gave me yummy fair trade chocolate (dark of course) and i am currently munching on it and thinking about her with great fondness. Pumpkin is a verr special personnage indeed. I secretly suspect that she may be one of the aforementioned Tzaddikim, y'know...
And that's all for today. I expect i'll come back and re-edit this later in the hope of making it more entertaining or something, cos it looks like a right load of piss at the moment, but i imagine ye'll understand what i'm going on about. Gah!-I really should start writing at more human hours of the day...
Nighty night. Or Morny morn... whichever seems most appropriate.
S.x
PS: Oh yeah, i've been invited to contribute (And have done so already!)to this yummy blog here: http://www.flying-monkeys.blogspot.com/ I have yet to ask what the title means... but i rather like it all.
23 comments :.
Hey, happy recent birthday Saturnyne! I'm sorry that such events pain you - over quickly enough, though, aren't they. Like ripping off a band-aid..
gah! Birthdays! I'm not even sure i was born. More like "evicted".
Next year i'm setting up a total exclusion zone round the event. Although i might relax it a little for cake and prezzies...
S.x
PS: thanks though, dear Jessie.
xxx
great presents!! wishing you a happy day.
damn those pesky birthdays. jessie is right about the band-aid thing.
still, i hope you have several more reasons to smile today- and have a very very happy birthday!
Oh dear, B... reading your snd our fab 3rd Daughters comments, i just had to re-alter my post for the nth time.
Da birthday has bin and gone ages ago... in fact i probably would have posted this sooner had i managed to get the pesky digital camera working for my pic of Elvis.
Even then I still wouldn't have mentioned it but for Pumpkin and Tam's gifts, which i hugely appreciated for their warmth and making me smile for ages.
S.x
Huzzah for melodrama!
Truly enjoyed your 'Melodrama Alert' and the words that followed. I am a fan of the 'unbirthday'; you tell coworkers (that inevitably ask) that your bday is about 5 weeks after it really is. As it gets closer to that fake 5 week date they always ask what you'll be doing that day. I love being able to say 'oh, my birthday was weeks ago'... they'll argue that you told them it was ___ (whatever the fake date was) but no one can argue when you say, 'No, I'm pretty sure I know my own birthday...' Unfortunately you can only use this once. Unless the people around you are dumb enough to fall for it again. In which case I say tell them you have 2 birthdays and get more gifts. After all, might include more dark chocolate [yum!].
On the non-people-bashing side; I'm glad you got to experience some kindness. Those are the kinds of things that restore a little faith. Good for you. And good for them for remembering how to be that way.
i can think of at least one good thing about birthdays: it brought you to our lives.
=)
i cannot believe i wasn't invited. it would have been a regular bloodbath. well, happy birthday anyhow. =)
Oh jesusfuckingchrist. I ought to stab you out of principle!
awww! you could just call ure bday, gift day instead..? hehe, I luv your 'Elvis' by the way, it's too bad he's so short, I find musicians Very hot.
I shall not evah wish you a "happy" birthday. I will tell you that I am pleased that you were born and that you have successfully passed another anniversary of that date. I am attempting to teleport loads of choccie to you to celebrate your continued presance among us.
Happy Belated.
I knew Elvis was still alive and kicking.
O course when i say "birthday" i am only inferring in the vaguest sense that i was "born"
I have it on good authority that i was either
A: Hatched out of a duck egg
B: Carved from a block of solid mercury and animated using the finest magic available.
C: Don't actually exist at all, except in your imaginations. A bit like God, as the atheists among us might say...
S.
Picture of a cake with a candle in it ?
COOL!
It'll save me a fortune next year and I get to eat the cake.
No way CArl! It wouldn't work, y'see... cos i'd know that it had been pre-meditated all year.
I'm afraid you get the short straw every year by buying me all them expensive prezzies instead. It's one of the laws of the universe.
O' course, the upside to that is that you get prezzies back. Sometimes even on the correct day!
Nope Teufel, i was definitely one of A B or C. Probably C cos i checked in with yer subconscious earlier and it told me so.... Hah!
S.
*secretly figures out the exact date of The Sat's birthday and marks it for next year on the calendar to flood him with b/day cards and fuzzy bunnies*
Hope it wasn't too much of a bummer cuz we luff you lots.
and you have to tell me what the hell the rule of thirds is...
I loved this post. I´ll say it again that I´m always amazed at how you can be both funny and melancholic. It´s like you´re always playing hide-and-seek with your own self ...
Personally I'm more amazed at how he can have a foot in his mouth and his head up his ass -- but you're quite right, he's always playing with himself.
Woman a. t. Well:
Good point. Thass wot probably maks me so awesome!
Tam:
Good point. Thass wot probably makse me so awesome!
Heeeeee!
Guffaw!
Chortle!
S.x
Happy belated birthday. I, too, totally dread my birthday. It is an inevitable black cloud moving painfully towards me every year. But how beautiful that you found such sweet moments in your day to bring you such delight!
Look at it this way, each birthday means you've successfully got through 12 months without ending up either bankrupt, in prison or dead (in most cases).
Oops! sorry Lynda... i missed replying to yer.
Rule of thirds, eh? I've just emailed you a link to look at.
Sk8rn? I'm currently saying your name out loud. Or trying to. =}
Nice to know i'm not alone in those birthday blues feelings.
Carl. Again?
S.
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