30.10.04 | Conversations With My Pumpkin (Part 6: How Positive Vibes Really Work. As Revealed By The Saturnyne)

Special Halloween Conversation for your delectation and delight! On this Day of The Dead, when the year too dies (If yer still a follower of the old traditions).

So gather ye closely, good reader, but not too closely!- In case ye too suffer the terrible horrors that lurk just under the slender surface membrane of the Saturnyne's Miiiind...

"...So, yes. to answer your question, i HAVE had a terrible day, and am feeling really down. And i'm sorry for biting your head off earlier."

No you haven't just arrived in the middle of a post-slaughter cannibal apocalypse with undertones of guilty angst. It's merely a depresssed Pumpkin apologizing on the phone for having to put up with my mind-bending wit. Which if truth be told, No-one should have to apologize for. Except me of course. So Pumpkin must really be feeling low.

(Shall i try and cheer her up, gentle reader? But of course i shall!)

"Awww, mah poor Sweetie! Ahm so sorry yer 'avin' a bad day. I know!- i shall enlist the aid of some Positive Vibes and send them over to aid you in your time of crisis."

And i wait for the penny to drop, as it will shortly, once Pumpkin has had time to reflect on my words. She is very smart, you know.

Interlude: Positive Vibes As Defined In 'The Saturnyne's Handy-Dandy Tome of Ye Alle Knowledge'

Positive Vibes: Or P.V's, are tiny round creatures, measuring between 1 and 2 centimetres in diameter, predominantly a bright orange colour, but specimens have been found in shades of every colour of the visible spectrum. The colours though, are always rich and vibrant. As is their demeanour. Sometimes irritatingly so. For they are nearly always bright, cheery and breezy. This is as equally apparent in their little smiley faces, as it is in their language. Curiously, though, they are also capable of turning instantly invisible, which they will do on appropriate occasions, for though annoying at times, they are kindly generous creatures with true hearts of gold.

They communicate in high pitched squeaky voices, perhaps how one imagines cartoon mice would sound. And use a language rich in happy platitudes and/or proverbs.

Eating: P.V's will eat anything you offer them with undisguised glee. Although they are most fond of soups, and tomato soup in particular. Which they like to swim in also, bobbing around and splashing each other for hours at a time. Also using discarded cutlery as a miniature diving board.

Lifespan: The truly amazing thing about P.V's is that they're totally indestructible and have a lifespan of millions of years, even without tomato soup. It has yet to be ascertained how they breed, or indeed, if they breed at all. (WARNING FOR SOUP LOVERS: Check yer soup beforehand, when consuming in areas frequented by Positive Vibes, as accidentally swallowing any can lead to sleepless nights, due to them holding parties and frolicking in yer stomach, which to them, is like a big indie disco. Eventually, though, they get bored and leave, finally allowing you a pleasant night's sleep, uninterrupted by squeaky singing and Dinosaur Jr songs etc.)

Habitat: So far, the only known sightings have been in the vicinity of The Saturnyne, whom they regard as their bestest friend and ally and also "Tomato Soup Provider Supreme." Occasionally though, he asks them to undertake missions to the unhappy and sad and despondent of the world... Where they arrive with a cheeky knock on the door, before bouncing playfully between the legs of the door opener and into the nearest kitchen, where they enquire after the possibility of soup (tomato first) in their squeaky voices.

Interlude Ends.

"Oh thank you Pleb-Boy. You're so very sweet someti- Wait a minute! What do you mean by "enlist the aid of"???"

So i tell her.

And she laughs.


  5:25 pm :. Blogger Lizzy hollered thusly:

LMAO. Christ, you must have an infinite storage of wit somewhere in the vast crevaces of your comprehensive skull. And was that opening line from The Dark is Rising series? It seems oddly familiar.

  5:57 pm :. Blogger Zen hollered thusly:

I think your Pumpkin is very lucky to have such an amusing friend.

  8:21 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Almost correct Lizzy. I was familiar with that line from the book when i was writing. But it is based on truth. All Hallow's Eve did uesed to be the last day of the year. From tomorrow, the English earth will be spending it's time dead for three months or so... or it would if we didn't have some o' that pesky global warming, which makes English Winter, Summer, and Autumn more like English Spring all year round. I HATE Spring, when it doesn't know it's place.

Roll on the end of petrol. And chainsaws. And cattle.(Of course, by then, it'll all be too late...)

And Hi Shannon! How's ya find yer way here? Am always interested in such things...


  7:46 pm :. Blogger supergood hollered thusly:

Spring is dreadful. Autumn is the bestest.

  8:32 pm :. Blogger Darkchild hollered thusly:

Oh my god, this was really funny to read ^-^

I've learned a lot from this post
*I know how the vibes work!! yeah!!*


Keep on writing this way please


  12:32 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Absolutely S.G.! Autumn is always the best time of year! Of course, if we didn't have the other seasons too, then we might appreciate it less. Still, Spring, eh? Fackin' Spring. Blossoms are ok, but everything looks sooo fackin' watery. An' it's still got cold leftovers from fackin' Winter! Bastard!

Hey D.C.! Anytime ya need some o' those Pozz Vibes, lemme know, an' they'll creep over an keep ya company. Ya might not notice they're there, but if ye ever hear little giggles of laughter in the night, an' find empty soup tins lying around the next morning...

lotsa love,

  4:37 pm :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

\\ you have the wildest imagination! such an incredible *delight*.

  9:05 pm :. Blogger Cece hollered thusly:

Hee! Dinosaur Jr.!

  9:38 pm :. Blogger storm hollered thusly:

hey, just wanted to say hey, thanks for visiting my blog, just returning the favour

  8:28 am :. Blogger Darkchild hollered thusly:

Awww, thanks for the good vibes!!!

They're very useful ^-^

*tho stumbeling over empty tins of soup every morning isn't very good for my mood. Can you learn them how to clean their stuff?*


  2:29 am :. Blogger stella hollered thusly:

Hi Saturnyne:

Any chance you have some spare PVs hiding about or some tomato soup would go alright... :)

And thanks for sprinkling your warm cheer here and there - you truly are the "Tomato Soup Provider Supreme" !

- Stella

  2:49 am :. Blogger Princess Potty Mouth hollered thusly:

Hey there... havent heard from you in a bit... hope things are well.... let me know dear... later
Princess Potty Mouth

  5:17 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Hey Amanda, i was on msn earlier, but i saw you had your "busy" sign up. So i didn't wanna disturb yer. Ahm ok. I suppose. Middling to good to bad.

And, if my blog and comments cheer your heart Stella, then i think this blog is succeeding in one of the things that i accidentally "set out" to achieve... HEh!

(ok if truth be told, i didn't actually set out to achieve anything, but things are turning out good. Maybe i'm spreading little ripples of happiness out across the blogverse)

I'll send ya some P.V.'s out as soon as they get back from a secret mission. They seem to have been rather busy these past few days...


  10:47 am :. Blogger onanymous hollered thusly:

Your P.V's are adorable and have now instilled in me a strange craving for tomato soup...
But I digress.
Thanks for the visit. It really is a small world, since I do believe I have been here before.

  1:50 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

You've been here before? And didn't leave a comment! For shame!

The Saturnyne craves comments. Even commentary abuse, provided it's not er, anonymous... great name ya have there, by the way...


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