8.7.04 | The Saturnyne Discovers A New Ability (Or Re-discovers An Old One)



There you are. Sitting quietly in your castle.

(Interesting note Une: BTW to all foreign readers of this site, all us English live in castles. It's why England is such a fantastic place to dwell in. My own castle is quite modest... just the one moat... er' where was i? O'yeah).

So yer minding yer own business... mebbe havin' a quiet drink... or mebbe not if the neighbouring castles are having a scrumptious karaoke session.

(Interesting note Deux: The neighbourhood is now entirely bereft of cats. I know this because i was awakened the other night to the sound of all these lovely felines dragging suitcases up the backstreet complaining about the competition).

Anyway, to get back to the matter at hand. Yr cosy and chillin'. When there comes a loud persistent knocking at the door. Who is it, you wonder? Why it's a handy-dandy salesman come to inveigle his way into your house all ready with his contract for your eternal soul. What to do?

(Interesting note Trois: By salesman i also include those of a religious persuasion looking for converts, too. Now i always have a lot of time for discussions of a religious nature. A fact which may surprise some friends. I have to say all religious persons are as welcome in my house as anybody without a meat cleaver and chuckling cheerily... hmm, it's strange, but they never stay as long as i'd like... And paperboys looking for tips.. i always laughingly tell them foreplay is really important).

Well, i, Saturnyne have discovered the solution to the Unwanted guest. Quite by chance.
Y'see, as i am something of an insomniac these days, i often awake aftera miserable nights sleep with utterly groggy eyes... so i like to bathe them. So the other day i'm bathing my eyes, and there comes a knock at the door. Of course, being the polite one that i am, i answer the door...

Cool! it looks like Jehovah's Witnesses!

I open the door and smile at them in a friendly way. They look into my eyes, with what i assume is religious fervour.

"Hi guyyysss! How are you? Y'wanna sell me some of that G- What?What's the matter? Why, you look quite pale! Hey- Where are you going? Come back! I have nice biscuitssss! Oh dear... well maybe they remembered they left the gas on or something..."


It was then i realised that i was carrying the dish of (Nice warm) water that my eyes were still merrily swimming around in.
I convulsed with laughter droppng the dish in the process. My eyes bounced and swung madly around on their stalks like crazed bungee jumpers. Whooo! Blameh!-That can really make you dizzy.

I was so relieved. I thought they'd run screaming frenziedly away because i was naked.

8 comments :.

  11:13 am :. Blogger The Prisoner hollered thusly:

how highly amusing sir.

i just tell them that i'm gay


  4:42 am :. Blogger Princess Potty Mouth hollered thusly:

Oh dear oh dear, I find many of your posts halarious, we must deffinatly keep in touch, I find your humour just smashing simply smashing indeedy. I would like to mention that I am not American, I am Canadian, that is why in my posts i tried to use the term North Americans. I thank you repeatedy and I do beleive that you are my new fan and so you will be called so. I enjoy your comments and hope to hear from you again. Keep in touch


  7:03 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Canadian? Brilliant!!! I have distant (very distant) relatives in... Toronto... i think...

If i didn't hate travelling... Canada would be very high on my list of places to visit *sigh*

Even if you had been American, i certainly wouldn't have held it against you. Even if you had been a right-wing Bush-junkie, i still believe that there could have been common ground to share...ahh, the optimist in me rears it's happy head once again... lol

THinking more on this, i think everyone should now go and read Harper Lee's "To Kill A Mockingbird" or at least see the film. Good and evil aren't so defined as some would have us believe...

And yeah, i am a fan of yer writing, and the way you think things through.

To The Prisoner... chuckled at that one... then recoiled with even more mirth, at the thought of sying it by accident to a double-glazing salesman.

Here's another idea: Answer the door- and politely say nothing, while smiling beatifically... it takes a lot o' self-discipline, though.... but it drives 'em nuts... lol


  8:22 am :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

Are we twinned at the brain? In my odyssy (spelling?) to read as many of the BBC's Top 100 as possible, I read 'To Kill a Mocking Bird'. And promptly declared it possibly the best book I'd ever read.

Mind, there is nothing can pursuade me to read 'Gone with the Wind' or 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin' - am I being unecessarily harsh?


  3:47 pm :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

Weird you should mention Captain Corelli's Mandolin... i thouht the same until the other week, when i noticed the lovely Pumpkin perusing it over coffee in Waterstones.

So i had a look at it... read the first few pages and decided there and then i must read it by the end of the year... even if i felt uncool doing so.

AS for the other book; methinks it's what fire was invented for.

And now: TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Just psyching myself up for my next topic of conversation).


  9:01 pm :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

Well.....maybe I should purchase one of the three copies languishing in the Red Cross shop round the corner for a whole 50p...(CCM that is).

Gah...Fri night, sober and at home AGAIN....my life is a tragedy!


  6:07 am :. Blogger The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

well, i could have lightened yer evening up with scintillating conversation on MSN, but odear, someone doesn't have it. Tee-hee!


  7:56 am :. Blogger Janey hollered thusly:

Grrrrr.....I have fangs.

I will succumb to peer pressure and open an MSN account at some point today when not writing my dissertation....watch this space!



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