14.7.04 | Conversations With My Pumpkin (pt3 "The Depths of Sophistication")
"Shiggy wiggy wiggy?!"
"Shiggy wiggy wiggy!!!"
"Bingy bongy boo".
"Bibblybob!"
"Bibblybob!!!"
(Readers; it is interesting to note here, that the word "Bibblybob" is available on your mobile phones when you use predictive texting. And therefore must be a real word, thus proving mine and Pumpkins conversations as far superior to the norm, due to our ability to use words, that to all intents and purposes, mean bugger all to everyone else.)
"Umm, Pleb-Boy?"
THat is Pumpkins new nickname for me. I think it's rather sweet term of endearment. Much nicer than "Wanker" or "Tosser", or "Most pathetic use of so-called intelligent life, or indeed any life on this planet, any planet in any dimension you care to name, real or thought up in your ridiculous sub-parody of a brain".
"Yes, my ball of orange loveliness?"
"Remind me again why i don't take you to the vets and have you put down, or at least have you tried in a court for mental crimes against all reasonable thought, and indeed crimes against dna itself?"
This is what Pumpkin said, although i really knew she meant;
"You really are the nicest person that evah lived! I'm so glad i met you and that yer are mah bestest friend, evah."
"Aaah, lovely fruit-type-thing, i know just what you mean. 'tis because i'm loyal, generous, utterly gorgeous, a good listener, fantastically kind to waifs and strays, plus, i can do this:
(I start singing the underwater fishie song from the Disney film "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" complete with bubbly fishie voices. It also sounds like a very pissed 'Soupdragon' from the Clangers. Pumpkin falls around laughing... this never fails to amuse her somehow.
"Ok, i'll let you live this time, Pleb-Boy".
And what better friend could you have than that, dear reader?- Than one who doesn't want to kill you every day.
Thus we pass many carefree days, pleasurably together.
Adieu!
9 comments :.
sorry to be an absent friend today. I'm in major crabby mode, so best avoided! J/x
Eeza fine!
'm not the kinda guy to get all sensitive when peeps need their space and suchlike. That's a mistake for the younger folks.
Heh, i'm only concerned that my Cabell recommendation didn't waste yr money. I'd be mortified. Throw meself under a Hornby train i would...
Nope, I is enjoying the book, and they were a whole £9 for 3!! Mind, i have to say that Robert Rankin truely rips of the writing style in 'Chocolate Hollow Bunnies of the Apocolyspe'!
PS...and I'm currently eating the holy grail of chocolate - Green & Black's Organic Dark Chocolate with orange and spices....mmmmm
Arghhhh! I Killll!!!!!! I Killlll!!!!!!!! But first I Stalkkkk! I Stalllkkkkk!!!!! um, Like a horse. Hahaha!
oooh! saucy! Let me see; first there's the taxi to the airport, then there's the wait for the plane, then there's the plane journey... complete with grotty plane food, THEN there's probably a journey from the airport to your place, with a probable stop-off for chocolate flavoured shower gel and egg-whisks... erm, can i sleep on it...
AND you mighta got bored by the time i get there and gone out! Or died. Of starvation!
Planes = evil. Big evil. And certain death.
ah, yer don't like planes, then? Bad experience?
I was once attacked by a large dog... anything similar? Although, when i say that i don't mean, did a boeing 747 try to gnaw your leg off...ahem... i mean it(bad experience) left me wary of dogs...
cats now! They're ace! I'm definitely zer cat perzonnn!
You mean, there'd be... fun??? Wow! And i thought we were just gonna get clean and eaat yummy choccy flavoured shower gel-type-stuff!
So what kind of fun? Charades? OR: We could pretend to be salmon fishies swimming up impossibly tall waterfalls!
That'd be lotsa fun! WE could wear fishie costumes! And spawn and die upstream! Yaay!
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