14.7.04 | Conversations With My Pumpkin (pt3 "The Depths of Sophistication")
"Shiggy wiggy wiggy?!"
"Shiggy wiggy wiggy!!!"
"Bingy bongy boo".
(Readers; it is interesting to note here, that the word "Bibblybob" is available on your mobile phones when you use predictive texting. And therefore must be a real word, thus proving mine and Pumpkins conversations as far superior to the norm, due to our ability to use words, that to all intents and purposes, mean bugger all to everyone else.)
THat is Pumpkins new nickname for me. I think it's rather sweet term of endearment. Much nicer than "Wanker" or "Tosser", or "Most pathetic use of so-called intelligent life, or indeed any life on this planet, any planet in any dimension you care to name, real or thought up in your ridiculous sub-parody of a brain".
"Yes, my ball of orange loveliness?"
"Remind me again why i don't take you to the vets and have you put down, or at least have you tried in a court for mental crimes against all reasonable thought, and indeed crimes against dna itself?"
This is what Pumpkin said, although i really knew she meant;
"You really are the nicest person that evah lived! I'm so glad i met you and that yer are mah bestest friend, evah."
"Aaah, lovely fruit-type-thing, i know just what you mean. 'tis because i'm loyal, generous, utterly gorgeous, a good listener, fantastically kind to waifs and strays, plus, i can do this:
(I start singing the underwater fishie song from the Disney film "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" complete with bubbly fishie voices. It also sounds like a very pissed 'Soupdragon' from the Clangers. Pumpkin falls around laughing... this never fails to amuse her somehow.
"Ok, i'll let you live this time, Pleb-Boy".
And what better friend could you have than that, dear reader?- Than one who doesn't want to kill you every day.
Thus we pass many carefree days, pleasurably together.