The Saturnyne's Lounge

30.11.06 | How To Annoy Religious People (And Yet Discover A Sense Of Irony At The Same Time) pt 1

Pope: Islam is a very violent religion, isn't it? (According to this interesting quotation from someone no one except me can even be bothered to remember)

Islamic Personnage: How dare you say such a thing! I shall kill you all! (Especially the women who flaunt their curves at me! I've seen them on the street you know! Tempting me in their Burkha-thingy's with promises of lust!!! Aieee! Sure they say nothing and then run and hide when i am around, but i can sense their evil, and that's why i must kill them all! Jyhad! Jyhad!)

Pope: Holy Shit!! We never had this problem when i was in the Hitler Youth! (Cardinal Fang! Are you sure i can't order another crusade? We could even try and get rid of those blasted Juden again at the same time! Just like Papa Adolf would have wanted... ahh...those were the good old days...)

American End-Timer: We must create more pollution! And more wars in Jesusland with the Ae-rabs! Then, when we have caused millions of deaths and untold suffering, Jesus will come and save us and we will have "The Rapture!tm" Now we must hurry, becase i'm getting impatient! Get me The Pre-si-dent on the phone and let the nukes fly!

God: Not fookin' likely! You can all fook off. I've had it up to here with you religious freaks, and you End-Timers take the fookin' biscuit! Jesus H. Christ- i wish i'd given the world over to the fookin' monkeys! At least you know where you stand with a fookin' chimp... all bastards... Lucy can have the fookin' lot... ungrateful, greedy cunts...

Jesus: Oi! Stop taking my name in vain! You know how mum hates that kind of language.

God: Fook her. I'm fucking omnipotent. I can do what the fook i like.

Lucifer: Can i have that last bit in writing, please?

God: No. Fook off. I'm in a right fookin' bad mood now. I'm goin' out for a fookin' drink.

Lucifer: Oh. Ok. Well don't forget we've got lunch with Buddha and Shiv at 8.

God: Bollocks.

And now... funny cartoons!

Tom Cruise: Hey! Wait a minute! What about MY religion!!!!

Everyone: Hahahaha. Stfu.

14 comments :.

1:43 am :.

De.vile hollered thusly:

Your gonna be in so-ho much trouble mate! :) :)

5:51 am :.

dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) hollered thusly:

i love that Heretic cartoon - it says so much.

12:09 pm :.

Carl Berry hollered thusly:

Yep, Little baby Jesus won't be sending you any Christmas pressies this year, you'll definitely be on Father Christmas's bad boy list (though quite why you wouldn't be on it anyway escapes me).

Anyway what's wrong with a good heretic (or witch for that matter) burning ? They're a biodegradable, renewal energy source, a decent sized heretic could keep a group of OAPs warm for a good few hours this winter.

We've got to think of the planet people, heretic (and witch) fueled power generators are the way to go.

2:55 pm :.

The Saturnyne hollered thusly:

You should see what i have lined up for pt 2...

S.

5:13 pm :.

Ginger Doll hollered thusly:

M'dear...it is sooooooo good to have you back!

And in such fine form. I particularly like the northern accent implied for God, with the use of 'fook'.

6:58 pm :.

my sun sets to rise again hollered thusly:

You're going to Hell you know.

Well, I know. You might want to stock up on those little hand held fan things. They help a bit.

7:06 am :.

{illyria} hollered thusly:

i wish somebody would just spoof tom and get paid to make him look like an idiot.

4:15 am :.

Keshi hollered thusly:

**Tom Cruise: Hey! Wait a minute! What about MY religion!!!!

LOL hahaha!

Keshi.

2:11 pm :.

Starbuck hollered thusly:

Oh my, that's funny.

Accurate AND funny!

Merry Yuletide.